I’ve been experimenting with following the moon cycles this year and although I’m no expert, I’ve found it interesting to work with these dates instead of a typical calendar month, especially when it comes to journaling and intention setting around my creative practice.
So I thought I’d give you a brief rundown of how the cycles work and how you can integrate actions around the new and full moon to build a life you love.
This is the time when the moon isnāt visible from Earth.
So think about it as a clean slate, a time before things have even begun, an invitation to think about what you want to manifest in your life and then you can break it down into smaller intentions or tasks to be completed over the coming cycle.
This could be starting a new project, refreshing one that is feeling a bit stale, connecting with new people or getting out of your comfort zone to take in some inspiration at an event or exhibition. It’s all about new beginnings, so challenge yourself to think outside the box.
Actions:
Tarot spread to connect with your intuition and find out what you really want
Journaling to explore future and write a list of new moon intentions
Vision boarding
Waxing Cresent, first quarter and gibbous moon phases see the moon become more visible over a period of roughly two weeks, culminating in the full moon.
During this period, stay focused on your creative intentions, journal on them daily, visualise them becoming a reality and make use of the energy that accompanies the time after the new moon.
Journal prompts for the new moon phase:
What aspects of my inner self are currently in the shadows, waiting to be illuminated?
What new creative connections do I want to manifest during this lunar cycle?
What habits, beliefs, or energies no longer serve my creative self?
As a writer, what creative projects or ideas are calling to me at this moment?
How can I nurture and bring them to life during this lunar phase?
What self-care practices will I prioritise during this lunar cycle to nourish my mind, body, and spirit?
What intuitive insights or messages am I receiving at this moment?
What does the moon represent to me, and how can I align with its energy for self-growth?
Full Moon
This is the energetic peak of the cycle, where you may find your energy levels are uncomfortably high.
I personally get a lot of anxious energy around the full moon, normally with headaches and chronic overthinking about how Iāve acted in the weeks previously (fun!)
Don’t be surprised if this leads to a lot of self-doubt in your creative abilities, fear of rejection or lack of energy as things come to a head. Hopefully, you’ll start to see some of your intentions manifest around this time.
This is the time to pause and reflect on what you have or havenāt manifested over the last few weeks. Let go of the past and move on.
Actions:
Tarot spread to focus on what you need to let go of
Journaling to express gratitude for what you have now
Letter to the universe to say thank you and unsent letters of forgiveness for emotions you want to release
During the disseminating, third quarter and balsamic moon period you might find your energy level become more stable and then begin to dip off as it reaches the end of the cycle.
Use this time to relax into where you are now.
Keep working on the intentions you set but let go of anything that isnāt working and continue to put effort into the things that have been successful in the past. Give yourself grace towards the end of the cycle and make time for restorative self-care.
Journal prompts for the full moon
What have I created since the last full moon, and how have these creations changed me?
How has my creative process evolved over the last month?
What blocks need my attention to let creative energy flow?
How have I nurtured my creative spirit this month?
How have I connected with fellow artists or writers this month and how has it fuelled my creative energy?
What insights have my dreams provided recently and how will I use this in my creative work?
Who or what am I ready to forgive and let go of?
Then the cycle begins all over again with the fresh new moon!
Was this helpful? Would you like to see more posts about how to work with the moon?
I used AI to come up with a structure for this blog post and I am not sorry.
My brain is fried from the overwhelming pressure that we are all under at the moment. Rent is at an unprecedented high, the hope of getting a mortgage is fading quickly, the cost of everything is increasing, Iām working more than I want to and Iām tired. So yeah, if I can get a little support from Chat GPT think thatās OK.
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how hard it is to rest within the clutches of capitalism. The profit-driven nature of privatised consumerism means that prices are increasing which means I need to earn more money to live. As someone with mental and chronic illness, trying to address trauma and function as a single person going through divorce… I’m just tired.
Why Capitalism is Making Your Tired
When your employer doesnāt offer sick pay, you go to work when you know should be in bed getting better. And if you do take time off, you go back to work before youāre well to avoid a slim paycheck and disciplinary action.
When youāre self-employed and the cost of living has increased for your clients, you fear losing them so you donāt increase your rates and are forced to take on more clients to pay your mortgage on time, which can lead to elevated stress levels, substance abuse, insomnia and depression.
When you do feel healthy (whatever that means) you work long hours because you know it will lead to some sort of success in the form of a pay rise, promotion, increased sales, or a general āatta boyā pat on the back from society in general.Ā
You wear clothes that look professional. You mask any parts of yourself that donāt fit the image of what a productive, well-paid, respectable member of society looks like, a practice that people with ADHD are painfully well-versed in.
And when you do have pockets of time outside of work, you feel this undeniable pressure to develop yourself into a better person, reading self-help books and taking courses and listening to podcasts on productivity.Ā
The worst part about all of this is that you donāt feel as though you have any right to complain.
Capitalism works you like a machine and brandishes you as lazy when you perform like a human who needs, rest, play and social time.Ā
Widespread problemĀ
This isnāt a new realisation for me. I worked in hospitality for over a decade, pulling 16 hours shifts on my feet, locking up at midnight only to put the key in the door at 6am the following day.
I took naps in the cupboard, compartmentalised my tears to the staff bathroom, sustained a back injury and worked anyway, ignored panic attacks and did all this while earning a wage that was so laughable I stole food from my employers in order to eat.
Now as a self-employed writer, Iāve experienced the capitalist pressure from the publishing industry, spending literally years writing books for well below minimum wage and feeling as though I should be grateful for the opportunity.
Iāve lost weekends with family, nights out with pals, worked on Christmas Day and lost my temper with partners due to the physical and mental burden of trying to make money doing a job that I actually enjoy.
My experience is not the worst, but itās certainly not unique.Ā Ā
The number of people not working in the UK due to illness has risen to a new record, in part triggered by a rise in employee mental health issues.
Figures from the Office for National Statistics show that 438,000 more people were not looking for work from January to March 2023 because they were on long-term sick leave. In total, 2.5m people are not currently working due to health problems.
Resting is not an option
Even when the body does force you to slow down and rest, capitalism tells you that this should be in the ārightā way, by paying for therapy, getting in your silly little walk, and buying SAD lamps and vitamins all with the underlying message that you must get well enough to be productive again.
Even our default relaxation mode of scrolling on social media is permeated by consumerism, littered with adverts for things we didnāt know we needed as well as examples of others being more productive or successful than us.
Internalised capitalismĀ
Perhaps the biggest lie weāve been sold is that constantly pushing forward is the only option. And when you feel deflated, unfulfilled and empty, you assume that the answer is to strive more instead of less.
The blame always lands on us, for not doing enough, being quick/smart/committed enough, and never with the system which is intent on working us like machines.
“You can’t feel value in yourself just for being alive ā just for being a human being. You have to be a ‘human doing’ to have any value.”
Societal pressure
Identifying with your achievements is one of the things Iāve been personally working hard to unlearn.
I am proud that I have written and published two books, but identifying with those achievements and their success has been painful.
Instead of focusing on the fact that I poured my life lessons into hundreds of pages and help my readers feel seen, I have had a tendency to focus on which magazines have featured the book, how many speaking opportunities they have led to, and of course how many sales and how much (little) money they have earned me.Ā
This time last year, I was throwing around book ideas with my agent. Flirting with another memoir, researching industry trends, trying to write āfor the marketā and amongst all of that I became so disillusioned with the commodification of my creativity (and my trauma) that I simply gave up.
There is no external achievement that is ever going to feel like enough.Ā
Soothing the Pain
So where do we go from here? I canāt think of any way to live outside of the system.
I am perpetuating the system as we speak, this blog post is part of it, itās a way for me to communicate to you as part of my business. I rely on an audience of writers paying for my time so that I can afford to pay rent and bills.Ā
1. Create more than you consume
Maintaining autonomy is so much harder when you are bombarded with messages from the media. Instead of endlessly consuming, get into the habit of creating what you want to see in the world. Start a book club, write a poem, and cook dinner from scratch. The experience of creation is soothing and gives you back time that would otherwise be sucked up by corporations who want your money.
2. Redefine wealthĀ
I donāt think that you should be ‘satisfied’ with what you earn, and I certainly donāt think that you should be struggling to afford to heat your home and feed yourself.
But I do think those of us with a relatively steady income could benefit from taking a closer look at how we define wealth.
Wealth doesnāt have to be the capitalist definition of money in the bank and property in your name. Wealth can be the experiences you have with friends, a morning spent in the park enjoying nature, or you writing stories and poems that only you will read.Ā
3. Examine emotional spending
This isnāt about saving money, but instead recognising when you are consuming products and services because youāve been psychologically manipulated into thinking you need them.
For me, this means making do with a minimal skincare routine, three pairs of trousers, one pair of trainers and trying hard not to buy trendy items just because Iām going out somewhere on the weekend.
Buying on Vinted has been helpful in this transitional period as I still want to spend but not in a way that forces me into debt or needing to work harder to pay off my Klarna account.Ā
4. Play and rest as a form of resistance
There is no denying the pressure on modern workers to make every moment of life productive.
They say rest is productive (because it allows you to work harder the next day) but I say rest is just nice. Rest is what we were born to do.
Being playful is a big middle finger to the system that wants you to spend your time working, earning, chasing, and bettering yourself so that you are more valuable.
Playing, whether thatās doodling in your notebook during a meeting, joking around with your friends or writing limericks and sending them to your partner, IS within your grasp. Itās something that you can hold onto and prioritise if you choose to.
Reclaim your energy
So here we are. Trapped in a system we did not choose to be a part of, striving for more and never feeling as though we are enough.
Punished for being human, praised when we push through and perform like robots. Is it any wonder you are tired AF? No.Ā
You are tired because you deserve better, you deserve playfulness, you deserve to create, to have mindful wandering, and contentment in your simple existence.
And while that may not seem easy to achieve, it is possible, and potentially life-changing.Ā
Iām recently divorced after being in a relationship for almost 18 years, so itās been a huge learning curve getting used to being on my own again. Whether youāre a student, a professional, working from home, living the single life or keen to romanticise your relationship, I think actively creating a life that gets you excited is possible for everyone.
At first, I thought romanticising your life was about travelling solo (which I did!) but then I realised that it can be about the little things too.
I donāt believe that romanticising your life is solely about grand gestures, expensive purchases or seizing every opportunity that comes your way. Itās about capitalising on what you have today, about being grateful for where you are now and taking pleasure in the things that bring you joy, no matter what anyone else thinks.
1. Reorganise your space
When I was a kid I loved the film Calamity Jane. My favourite part is the montage where Jane and her ‘friend’ set up in a tired little cottage and spruce it up into a home, whilst singing a song about a womanās touch.
Although Iāve now realised that this is an iconic cinematic moment for many lesbians my age (little baby me had no idea) I think itās a perfect example of how taking pride in your space can be a beautiful act of self-care.
Itās also an invitation to slow down, to think about how your environment not only impacts your mood but how little tweaks can turn your home into a sanctuary.
How can you create the feeling that you want to embody by using all the senses?
This could be:
spending an afternoon quietly cleaning the windows
dusting and rearranging your favourite trinkets
picking out your favourite tarot cards to display on the mantel
shopping for second-hand artwork
I like to light incense to signify a peaceful stage in the day, and music to get me into the right mood.
Imagine your favourite restaurants, cafes or hotels youāve been to. What about that space felt comforting to you? Itās easier than you think to create that vibe in your own space, especially with sites like Vinted where you can pick up second-hand items on a budget.
2. Make mindful rituals
Iāve always been a coffee lover, but my mornings have gotten better since I started using coffee grounds instead of instant.
Something about the art of getting my Aeropress or French press set up, scooping the coffee just so (I love Fower coffee) boiling the kettle and waiting for it to filter through makes the whole process way more romantic.
Instead of mindlessly stirring instant coffee in 30 seconds, this process takes around 5-6 minutes and requires me to step away from work and ground myself in the present moment, using the act of coffee making as a reason to pause and be patient.
Other mindful rituals I enjoy include:
meditating
doing the dishes slowly by hand
experimenting with new make-up
applying a face mask
shaving my legs
Any task that you do regularly has the potential to be turned into a romantic ritual, the trick is to be fully present in the ritual and focus only on the task at hand.
3. Dress for yourself
I think weāre all guilty of saving our best clothes for a future date and working from home means that there is always the temptation to wear grotty PJs all day every day.
Take the time to put together an outfit that expresses who you are and how you want to feel that day.
Maybe that means PJS, but the clean, fancy ones you normally reserve for the weekend. Or maybe itās taking the time to change your earrings, wearing perfume and painting your nails on a Wednesday evening.
Taking pride in your appearance, even when no one else is around, can be an empowering experience and one that makes you realise your life is yours to be created on a moment-by-moment basis.
4. Write in public
Iām actually writing this blog post from a cafe near my house. Thereās something soooooo main character energy about writing in public that I will never tire of.
Maybe itās because I love people knowing that Iām a writer, or because being witnessed makes it a sort of performance that I enjoy, or maybe itās the hubbub of people coming and going that makes me feel part of a āsceneā that I wouldnāt be part of at home.
Either way, I highly recommend taking your notebook or laptop out to a quirky little cafe, ordering a coffee and cake and writing your little heart out, pretending youāre a character in a movie. If you want to journal, check out my free daily journaling guide here.
5. Create the soundtrack to your life
On a workday, I like soundscape music such as coffee shop sounds, and in the evening I like reiki healing sounds. On a weekend I delve into my pop playlist and romantic indie songs to evoke a sense of self-love.
Whenever I hear a song that makes me feel really happy, I add it to a playlist for when I need to boost my mood. There are particular songs that I enjoy listening to as I walk, because thatās when I feel my most upbeat and as though Iām in control of my life.
OK, that’s my thoughts on how to romanticise your life. How are you feeling about trying some of these tips? Do you have any other unusual ways to share with me? Leave them in the comments below!
At a party I recently saw a friend who I hadnāt seen for almost a year. She had lost a lot of weight and was being praised for the achievement by all the women at the party. With my history of rapid weight loss, crash dieting, binge eating and excessive exercising I stayed silent. I wasn’t jealous (I swear) but it just didn’t feel right to congratulate her.
Iāve actually put on about 20 lbs in the past eighteen months and Iām still coming to terms with how my body feels since I quit dieting. Iāve immersed myself in an online world where itās OK to have lumps, bumps and visible cellulite. Itās also OK to be thin and not have boobs, wide hips or a bubble butt. I believe all body shapes are acceptable and should be represented in the media.
When I meet women who still praise each other for weight loss I feel icky. In my opinion weight loss itself doesnāt make you beautiful, nor does it deserve a “well done” sticker. Weight loss may lead to a healthier lifestyle, more confidence and self-love but that isn’t attainable purely from calorie restriction. It comes from learning to accept yourself warts and all.
In celebration of National No Diet Day which takes place on May 6th, I wanted to speak to online fitness babe Carly Rowena. Sheās someone who promotes an exercise regime, balanced diet and above all self-acceptance for what your body looks like at all times.
In the online fitness world there is SO much pressure to appear lean, muscular and eat a clean diet and I’m impressed that Carly cuts through the bullshit and gets honest with her audience. Sheās often captured eating chocolate, ice cream and pizza and will express candidly the negative feelings sheās had towards her own body in the past.
When I asked Carly about diet culture in social media she spoke about the importance of being upfront with her viewers;
āI think there is a lack of honesty to a degree, we need to remind people that we donāt eat like that all the time. That’s why I enjoy Insta-stories, itās a chance to show a behind the scenes. I always try to share my clean days and my relaxed days, honesty is the only way forwardā.
As someone who has always dieted, Iām curious whenever a new brand comes to market promising to deliver the best plan for optimal health and fast weight loss. Even if I donāt follow the plan Iām still interested in the science behind new fad diets and how they claim to work. However, Carly promises there is no one perfect diet that will work for everyone;
āWe are all individuals so how can we ever all have the same results from the same diet? I recommend people really think about what they want, how they want to live and what they can afford both to give and to spend. Most people just need to make a few adjustments, swaps if you will. We need to stop thinking about our bodies as something we have to keep changing, we need to think about our lives and want we want our bodies to be able to doā.
Dieting has often left me with the overwhelming urge to binge. I would restrict my calories to 1000 per day, only consuming foods which I deemed āsafeā such as salad, fruit and vegetables. After a few weeks the urge consumed me and I would eat up to 5000 calories in the space of an hour to satisfy my hunger. The binges continued for days at a time before I forced myself to restrict again, only to result in an inevitable binge eating episode a few weeks down the line.
āTake a step back, rethink what you want from your life. Are you trying to be a bikini competition or an athlete? If the answer to both is no, then why are you trying to diet or train like one? Most of my clients are under-eating which is why theyāre forever struggling to reach their goals. Top tip is to write own your food for a week and find out exactly what youāre eating, how many calories, are you getting enough fats, proteins, carbs or fibre, then you have a starting point from which you can make adjustmentsā.
Iāve found keeping a food diary is a great way to analyse your behaviour if you feel like food is ruling your life. Iāve learned that urge to binge often comes during a stressful time in my life, or after a period of restrictive eating and now I feel more equipped to deal with those urges when they arise.
The biggest thing Iāve learned is that ultimately dieting doesnāt work for me. It works on the surface and I can easily drop pounds by making a few simple changes to my food intake but the damage done to my mental state lasts longer and has been a challenge to rectify.
I’m glad that people like Carly Rowena are talking about the realities of over-restriction and the negative affects of dieting. There’s no shame in simply eating for health, exercising for fun and focusing on loving your body as it is!
Will you be celebrating National No Diet Day on May 6th?
February 12th sees the start of Random Acts of Kindness Week. I don’t care much for these types of campaigns – although I’ll admit National Doughnut Day has made me reconsider – but if there’s something to raise awareness about, being kind to one another does nothing but good things in my book.
From a mental health perspective, showing kindness to a stranger is incredibly powerful. You’ll never know how important a welcoming smile could be to a person with anxiety, or offering your parking ticket to someone who’s so stressed that they forgot to bring change for the meter.
As someone with depression and anxiety I also take pleasure in being kind to others. It can lift my mood, make me feel productive and worth something on days when my brain wants me to feel otherwise.
1. Give to a homeless person
Since living in Birmingham I’ve become very aware that homelessness is a real problem in this city. I pass a homeless person almost everyday on the way to work and I try and give him something to eat. If you can do this today then I know it would help.
2. Give a stranger a compliment
I work in a customer service environment so I meet hundreds of people everyday. I regularly have an inner dialogue which goes something like this, “She has a lovely smile. I love her top. She’s so friendly”. Then I go on with my day and forget all about it. The few times where I’ve actually vocalised a compliment to a stranger have always ended well. People love to receive compliments!
3. Buy someone a coffee
This is my go-to act of kindness when I’m feeling generous. Who doesn’t appreciate a free coffee? Ask your mate out for a drink and don’t let them pay or simply take a hot drink into work for someone who needs it. You won’t regret it.
4. Listen
We all have those friends or colleagues who can talk for Britain. If like me, you tend to zone out when they speak then try and spend today really listening to what they have to say. It could be that you actually find it interesting!
5. Tip your server
As a cafe worker I’m obliged to ask that you consider us who prepare your food and beverages everyday with a smile. OK I don’t smile all of the time but believe me, I’m making a huge effort not to look grumpy when we make eye contact. I can guarantee you that a generous tip does not go unnoticed to us minimum wage earners, so consider popping an extra few coins in the jar on your way out today.
6. Send someone flowers
Valentines Day may have passed, but giving someone fresh flowers never gets old. It might be an elderly neighbour who helps feed your pet or the childminder who always goes the extra mile for your little ones, but whoever it is you can be sure a surprise bouquet will put a smile on their face.
7. Giveaway something you don’t need
Cleaning out your closet is a great place to start if you’re looking for something to giveaway. I recently gave away a few brand new t-shirts that were too small for me and I was glad they went to someone who wanted them. You might find you have something of use which you can give to a friend, if not just fill up a box for charity.
8. Offer your services for free
If you run a business then why not run a competition where someone can win something that you would normally charge for? Or you could simply pick one of your customers at random and give them a special discount. These little freebies are also a great marketing tool that give your business the human touch.
9. Give to a charity
Instead of buying a sandwich at lunch, why not bring in a home made meal and put a fiver in the nearest charity box? You could also donate a box of unwanted clothes or household items to your local charity shop or sign up to a fundraising event like a run or walk.
10. Make the call
Remember, you don’t need to spend a penny to be kind. Promise yourself that today you’ll make that call you’ve been avoiding. It might be your mum, a sibling or an old work friend that’s gone off the radar for too long. It only takes a few minutes but it can make someone’s day.
Tweet me and let me know what random act of kindness you performed today!
When I was 17 I grabbed a box of the brightest red hair dye I could afford and went from blonde to copper one Friday afternoon in my parents’ bathroom. It was the first time I’d thought ‘fuck it’ and done something on a whim. I kept it that way for a few years, but as my career progressed I returned to my natural shade of blonde in the hope that I would appear more ‘professional’ and ’employable’.
Since turning 30 have had a few more ‘fuck it’ moments; including going back to that copper shade I was when I was 17. I’ve decided it’s time to stop doing what other people expect of you. Here are a few examples..
1. Playing it safe with your hair colour
If you like to experiment with your hair then good for you. Pink and blue hair is kind of trendy right now, but if you want it that colour until you’re 60 then rock on. Some people think bright coloured hair looks unprofessional but nothing says, “I get shit done” like a mermaid inspired bouffant, in my opinion.
2. Settling for a job you hate
For years I climbed the corporate ladder in an industry I hated. I didn’t have any other skills (or so I thought) after doing the same type of work since I was 17. I spent years getting promoted, taking on extra responsibility and earning reasonably good money for what I did. I had an office and my own department and it looked like I had it all together. Really I was terribly unhappy and it took a mental breakdown to realise my career wasn’t making me happy. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough to try something different.
3. Eating something you know makes you feel shit
Sometimes only Oreos will do. I get it. But when you’re sat in a restaurant and you know that eating dessert is going to make you feel overly-full and bloated then don’t do it. You don’t have to order burgers and fries when you know you’d rather have salad (those days DO exist, I promise). You don’t have to keep up appearances for fear of looking like you’re a stick in the mud – eat what makes you feel good.
4. Drinking alcohol
A glass of bubbly to cheers to someone’s new job or 30th birthday is often seen as obligatory. Just because someone hands you a free glass of cheap cava doesn’t mean you have to drink it! If, like me you know that alcohol brings out the worst in you; why bother?
5. Going for the healthy option
Similarly, it’s easy to feel like you have to eat what people expect you to eat. So you told people at work you’re on a diet and the next day you want a cheeseburger. You probably don’t want to eat it in front of those same people in case they comment on how you’re diet didn’t last long, or they talk about you behind your back. I felt like this for a long time and I would regularly eat ‘healthily’ in front of others and binge on junk food in secret. This often meant that I would overeat when I was alone because I felt so panicked and ashamed of what I was doing. Eat that goddamn cheeseburger.
6. Wearing something conservative
I spent my life trying to dress appropriately according to my peers. Hearing the dreaded phrase “What’s everyone wearing?” before a night out used to put me on edge. I probably already had an idea of what I wanted to wear and if not, I didn’t need a panel of gorgeous ladies giving me suggestions. Wear what’s comfortable. Wear what makes you feel fierce. Wear whatever is clean that day cause it’s not really that important.
7. Agreeing with someone’s politics
I’m the ultimate ‘nod and agree’ person in any social situation. I hate confrontation (who the hell doesn’t?) so I tend to just go along with whatever the general consensus is on a topical subject and hope that we get back to talking about the weather before it gets too complicated. I’ve realised though, that my opinion is just as important as anyone else’s. If I hear someone saying something that I think is racist, sexist or morally wrong then I think I have a responsibility to question it. If they can see my side of the argument that’s great; if not then at least I can say I tried.
What do you do to please other people? Are you willing to try and stop?
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is kind of trendy right now, but if you want it that colour until you’re 60 then rock on. Some people think bright coloured hair looks unprofessional but nothing says, “I get shit done” like a mermaid inspired bouffant, in my opinion.
