I’m recently divorced after being in a relationship for almost 18 years, so it’s been a huge learning curve getting used to being on my own again. Whether you’re a student, a professional, working from home, living the single life or keen to romanticise your relationship, I think actively creating a life that gets you excited is possible for everyone.
At first, I thought romanticising your life was about travelling solo (which I did!) but then I realised that it can be about the little things too.
I don’t believe that romanticising your life is solely about grand gestures, expensive purchases or seizing every opportunity that comes your way. It’s about capitalising on what you have today, about being grateful for where you are now and taking pleasure in the things that bring you joy, no matter what anyone else thinks.
1. Reorganise your space
When I was a kid I loved the film Calamity Jane. My favourite part is the montage where Jane and her ‘friend’ set up in a tired little cottage and spruce it up into a home, whilst singing a song about a woman’s touch.
Although I’ve now realised that this is an iconic cinematic moment for many lesbians my age (little baby me had no idea) I think it’s a perfect example of how taking pride in your space can be a beautiful act of self-care.
It’s also an invitation to slow down, to think about how your environment not only impacts your mood but how little tweaks can turn your home into a sanctuary.
How can you create the feeling that you want to embody by using all the senses?
This could be:
- spending an afternoon quietly cleaning the windows
- dusting and rearranging your favourite trinkets
- picking out your favourite tarot cards to display on the mantel
- shopping for second-hand artwork
I like to light incense to signify a peaceful stage in the day, and music to get me into the right mood.
Imagine your favourite restaurants, cafes or hotels you’ve been to. What about that space felt comforting to you? It’s easier than you think to create that vibe in your own space, especially with sites like Vinted where you can pick up second-hand items on a budget.
2. Make mindful rituals
I’ve always been a coffee lover, but my mornings have gotten better since I started using coffee grounds instead of instant.
Something about the art of getting my Aeropress or French press set up, scooping the coffee just so (I love Fower coffee) boiling the kettle and waiting for it to filter through makes the whole process way more romantic.
Instead of mindlessly stirring instant coffee in 30 seconds, this process takes around 5-6 minutes and requires me to step away from work and ground myself in the present moment, using the act of coffee making as a reason to pause and be patient.
Other mindful rituals I enjoy include:
- doing the dishes slowly by hand
- experimenting with new make-up
- applying a face mask
- shaving my legs
Any task that you do regularly has the potential to be turned into a romantic ritual, the trick is to be fully present in the ritual and focus only on the task at hand.
3. Dress for yourself
I think we’re all guilty of saving our best clothes for a future date and working from home means that there is always the temptation to wear grotty PJs all day every day.
Take the time to put together an outfit that expresses who you are and how you want to feel that day.
Maybe that means PJS, but the clean, fancy ones you normally reserve for the weekend. Or maybe it’s taking the time to change your earrings, wearing perfume and painting your nails on a Wednesday evening.
Taking pride in your appearance, even when no one else is around, can be an empowering experience and one that makes you realise your life is yours to be created on a moment-by-moment basis.
4. Write in public
I’m actually writing this blog post from a cafe near my house. There’s something soooooo main character energy about writing in public that I will never tire of.
Maybe it’s because I love people knowing that I’m a writer, or because being witnessed makes it a sort of performance that I enjoy, or maybe it’s the hubbub of people coming and going that makes me feel part of a ‘scene’ that I wouldn’t be part of at home.
Either way, I highly recommend taking your notebook or laptop out to a quirky little cafe, ordering a coffee and cake and writing your little heart out, pretending you’re a character in a movie. If you want to journal, check out my free daily journaling guide here.
5. Create the soundtrack to your life
On a workday, I like soundscape music such as coffee shop sounds, and in the evening I like reiki healing sounds. On a weekend I delve into my pop playlist and romantic indie songs to evoke a sense of self-love.
Whenever I hear a song that makes me feel really happy, I add it to a playlist for when I need to boost my mood. There are particular songs that I enjoy listening to as I walk, because that’s when I feel my most upbeat and as though I’m in control of my life.
My favourite walking songs are:
OK, that’s my thoughts on how to romanticise your life. How are you feeling about trying some of these tips? Do you have any other unusual ways to share with me? Leave them in the comments below!