by Fiona likes to blog | Sep 2, 2024 | ANXIETY, WRITING
Journaling has never been a daily habit for me.
As much as I would LOVE to tell you that I wake up with the birds and gleefully open my notebook to do morning pages (look up The Artist’s Way if you’re not sure what that is) the reality is very different.
I journal in bursts. Sometimes multiple times a day, on my phone and in several notebooks. Other times, I’ll manage one paragraph of incoherent ramblings and resist trying again for months. There’s no shame in this, and it doesn’t mean that you’re not ‘good’ at journaling.
Personally, I’ve been seriously struggling to organise my thoughts recently and wondered if this focus mapping technique would help you. While it isn’t going to solve all of life’s problems, it has helped me get back into a groove with writing, after many many months of feeling unable to get started. Once you’ve got the hang of it, you might enjoy these other therapeutic writing techniques.
Forget ‘perfect’ journaling. Journaling doesn’t have to be a long, linear story of your day. Our thoughts jump around – let’s allow ourselves a more natural way of organising our ideas.
Try Focus Mapping
Focus mapping is a visual technique that can help you journal more easily. Here’s how to do it:
1. Grab a blank sheet of paper.
2. Write today’s date in the centre and circle it.
3. Draw 4-5 lines branching out from the date.
4. At the end of each line, write a topic on your mind (e.g., work, family, goals).
5. Add more branches to each topic with specific thoughts or ideas.
6. Keep expanding until you’ve written everything on your mind.
7. Review your map and choose one topic that stands out to you, and journal further on it.
Why it works
– It’s visual and fun
– Helps organise scattered thoughts
– Shows connections between ideas
– Lets you choose what to focus on
And hey, there’s no right or wrong way to journal. This method is just a tool to help you get started AND gives you a bank of ideas to work from the next time you open your notebook.
Try it out and see if it works for you.
by Fiona likes to blog | Feb 20, 2024 | ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, WRITING
“How’s your apocalypse going?”
That’s something I heard Phoebe Bridgers say during the early months of the pandemic and it’s continued to ring in my ears ever since.
Because greeting each other with humour during trying times is a coping mechanism I simply refuse to give up. When you’re exhausted and life seems hopeless, allowing yourself to laugh seems wrong… but sometimes it’s all you have.
via GIPHY
I don’t want to talk about humour today, but I do want to talk about writing as a tool during a crisis. And I use that word because our world is in a crisis.
State of affairs
Here in the UK, we’ve been warned we’re living in a pre-war era. Locally, services for young people, women and the most vulnerable are being cut. Rates of mental illness are increasing across the board and access to support is limited, whilst cost of living increases.
News of violence, injustice, illness, and catastrophe bombard us 24/7 and for those already facing struggles with poverty, racism, mental illness or other challenges, this constant stream of negativity can feel utterly overwhelming.
Finding the motivation to do anything, let alone write, can feel impossible.
Writing through a crisis
Yet studies show that writing can be a powerful coping tool during times of crisis. The act of putting thoughts and emotions into words, especially in a private journal, has been found to reduce stress, depression, and anxiety. Writing helps make sense of chaos, gain perspective, and release pent-up feelings. It can be an emotional and mental lifeline when all seems lost.
Here are 3 tips to help you write during difficult times:
1. Start small
Just write one sentence or paragraph about how you feel right now. Don’t worry about structure, grammar, etc. The act itself is what matters.
2. Write by hand
Computers and phones are likely to lead to distractions, such as news feeds and emails. Write in a real paper journal or notebook. The tactile process can be soothing in itself, giving you a physical marker of your progress.
3. Make it private
We pressure ourselves to write a blog post or a clever tweet too often. Write for yourself, in private, as a way to hear your own thoughts. There’s no need to ever share it.
Acknowledge the vulnerability of writing
Writing requires courage during crisis, and it can help to admit that.
AndI think we know this, we know that writing means opening the floodgates to deep pain, confusion, anger and grief. But facing that tough stuff in your writing offers long-term mental health benefits. The insights gained lead to post-traumatic growth and a sort of order to the chaos, helping you process events and regain a sense of control.
If you’re facing a crisis, know that you have an powerful tool within you already – your ability to express yourself through words.
CHOOSE TO WRITE.
by Fiona likes to blog | Sep 8, 2023 | ANXIETY, LIFE, WRITING
I’ve been experimenting with following the moon cycles this year and although I’m no expert, I’ve found it interesting to work with these dates instead of a typical calendar month, especially when it comes to journaling and intention setting around my creative practice.
So I thought I’d give you a brief rundown of how the cycles work and how you can integrate actions around the new and full moon to build a life you love.
New Moon
This is the time when the moon isn’t visible from Earth.
So think about it as a clean slate, a time before things have even begun, an invitation to think about what you want to manifest in your life and then you can break it down into smaller intentions or tasks to be completed over the coming cycle.
This could be starting a new project, refreshing one that is feeling a bit stale, connecting with new people or getting out of your comfort zone to take in some inspiration at an event or exhibition. It’s all about new beginnings, so challenge yourself to think outside the box.
Actions:
- Tarot spread to connect with your intuition and find out what you really want
- Book a reading with a trusted tarot reader
- Journaling to explore future and write a list of new moon intentions
- Vision boarding
Waxing Cresent, first quarter and gibbous moon phases see the moon become more visible over a period of roughly two weeks, culminating in the full moon.
During this period, stay focused on your creative intentions, journal on them daily, visualise them becoming a reality and make use of the energy that accompanies the time after the new moon.
Journal prompts for the new moon phase:
- What aspects of my inner self are currently in the shadows, waiting to be illuminated?
- What new creative connections do I want to manifest during this lunar cycle?
- What habits, beliefs, or energies no longer serve my creative self?
- As a writer, what creative projects or ideas are calling to me at this moment?
- How can I nurture and bring them to life during this lunar phase?
- What self-care practices will I prioritise during this lunar cycle to nourish my mind, body, and spirit?
- What intuitive insights or messages am I receiving at this moment?
- What does the moon represent to me, and how can I align with its energy for self-growth?
Full Moon
This is the energetic peak of the cycle, where you may find your energy levels are uncomfortably high.
I personally get a lot of anxious energy around the full moon, normally with headaches and chronic overthinking about how I’ve acted in the weeks previously (fun!)
Don’t be surprised if this leads to a lot of self-doubt in your creative abilities, fear of rejection or lack of energy as things come to a head. Hopefully, you’ll start to see some of your intentions manifest around this time.
This is the time to pause and reflect on what you have or haven’t manifested over the last few weeks. Let go of the past and move on.
Actions:
- Tarot spread to focus on what you need to let go of
- Journaling to express gratitude for what you have now
- Letter to the universe to say thank you and unsent letters of forgiveness for emotions you want to release
During the disseminating, third quarter and balsamic moon period you might find your energy level become more stable and then begin to dip off as it reaches the end of the cycle.
Use this time to relax into where you are now.
Keep working on the intentions you set but let go of anything that isn’t working and continue to put effort into the things that have been successful in the past. Give yourself grace towards the end of the cycle and make time for restorative self-care.
Journal prompts for the full moon
- What have I created since the last full moon, and how have these creations changed me?
- How has my creative process evolved over the last month?
- What blocks need my attention to let creative energy flow?
- How have I nurtured my creative spirit this month?
- How have I connected with fellow artists or writers this month and how has it fuelled my creative energy?
- What insights have my dreams provided recently and how will I use this in my creative work?
- Who or what am I ready to forgive and let go of?
Then the cycle begins all over again with the fresh new moon!
Was this helpful? Would you like to see more posts about how to work with the moon?
by Fiona likes to blog | Oct 6, 2021 | ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, PODCAST
Let me introduce you to Jo Love. She is a Trainee Psychotherapist, award-winning Mental Health Advocate, Artist and Author of Therapy is… Magic.
- Jo’s squiggly career journey from lawyer to business owner to trainee psychotherapist
- Why self-employment isn’t always the key to a healthy relationship with work
- What therapy really is (and isn’t)
- Things to consider when you think about getting therapy
In this episode, we also discuss our favourite non-therapy self-care activity; journaling. If you’d like to access free journaling prompts you can download them over on my resources page.
About Therapy is Magic
In this part memoir, part mental health resource and how-to guide, Jo Love throws opens the door of her therapist’s office and shines a light on what exactly goes on in the therapy room.
With the help of experts, including her very own therapist, Jo opens a rare window into the real world of therapy, unpicking the magical powers that enabled her to re-find her own voice, restored her resilience through the cloudiest days and ultimately saved her from her own mind.
Each chapter includes:
- A therapy list where Jo shares her knowledgeable insights into therapy
- Inspirational voices in the mental health space on the life-changing effects of therapy
- A ‘From the Other Chair’ section featuring expert opinions from mental health professionals
- ‘Need Help Now’ suggestions
Therapy is … Magic moves away from the stigma sometimes associated with seeking help, and shines a light on the emotional and physical benefits of talking therapies. Jo Love shows us that with professional guidance we can heal ourselves and the relationships we have, tackle addictions and trauma, and save our minds.
by Fiona likes to blog | Jul 20, 2021 | ANXIETY, WRITING
Oooof this self-doubt malarkey is a total ratbag, right? I’d bet my last Rolo that you’ve asked yourself at least once “When will I stop doubting myself as a writer?!” It’s something that pops up in conversation with the writers on my course, as well as in the comments on my insta posts.
It’s something that I’m still in a constant struggle with – even though I’m a published author, writing journalistic pieces and a prolific blogger! It can really hold people back from going for their dreams, but also in the every day as a writer or creative. In short – self-doubt sucks.
So how do we go about overcoming self-doubt as a writer? I wanted to share some ways I deal with it and how I have overcome it to get published and start to believe in myself.
How do you know if what you’ve got is self-doubt?
Self-doubt is the mental habit of questioning your own judgment or worth. So you know those moments when that voice in your head creeps in after you’ve achieved something? THAT. When I was sending my pitches to editors and publishers, I’d feel super pleased with my work and then freak out the second I hit send. “What if they hate it?” “Why did I think I can do this?” “Who do I think I am?” “I don’t even have a degree in writing! What am I doing?!” And this is soooooo common!
Sometimes the worries we have stem from childhood issues around dependence, other times it’s from stress. But it doesn’t matter where it comes from, because it’s how we deal with it that is important.
No (wo)man is an island
Firstly, it’s important to remember that every writer has these feelings. From Huxley to Hemmingway, Shakespeare to Shelley and beyond: you are not alone. Have you got a community of writers to turn to when those horrible voices (you know the ones, whispering to you that you suck) creep in? Reach out to them and have a chat about ways you can remind each other how awesome you are. Who could be your go-to pal for a motivational high-five?
Have a break
Taking a break from writing is often necessary when you hit these moments of self-doubt. Go and do something completely different! Have a bath and listen to your favourite book. Crank up the radio and dance around the kitchen. Head out for a walk and listen to a podcast. Choose something that’ll boost your endorphins and make you smile.
And this also means giving yourself a break from the mean voice. Switch that mofo off. You’re going to have setbacks. Every writer I know has them. Part of the journey of being a writer is that things don’t always go according to plan and you have to be ready for that. It doesn’t mean you’re a shit writer. It means you’re developing your skills, and honing your craft.
Read more
I’ve heard this time and time again from other published writers and freelance writers, but they all say that to be a better writer you’ve got to read more! And it’s definitely true! Diversify your bookshelf and start to read authors who you might not normally choose. Pick up books from genres you’re unfamiliar or uncomfortable with. Challenge yourself to read a book a month. And keep a diary of what you’re reading to refer back to.
If you’re finding it tricky to squeeze into your busy schedule, try listening to books instead. Audiobooks are a great way of absorbing information and new vocabulary without the hassle of lugging a tome around with you. I know some people think of it as “cheating” but it’s really not, and it can often give you a new perspective on a character or plot line. This is because the narrator puts emphasis in a different place to how you did, or you’re paying more attention than when you were speed-reading it before.
And remember that you could be reading instead of scrolling. I guarantee if you set yourself social media limits on your phone, and force yourself to pick up a book instead, you’ll have read a few books in no time at all. This isn’t meant to sound preachy but, as someone that is prone to doom scrolling, choosing to read instead has been a game changer. It’s revolutionised my writing and been amazing for my mental health!
However and whatever you choose to read, I urge you to do it more!
Write more
“Well, duh, that’s what I’m stuck on!” I hear you say. Wait for it…I’m not saying it won’t be hard to write. But maybe you’re stuck because the writing you’re choosing to dwell on is actually tricky. So instead of struggling with that blinking cursor on a blank page, putting up with that nagging voice telling you how sh*t you are, why not journal instead? I put new journal prompts on my Instagram grid all the time, so go get some ideas there!
Building a regular writing habit is the key to overcoming both self-doubt and writer’s block (so intrinsically linked!). I’ve written a post about how you can develop a writing routine that will keep you motivated and help keep those creative juices flowing.
And if that’s not enough, you can join one of my online writing courses to help get your writing project off the ground. The accountability really helps!
Kick self-doubt to the kerb with evidence!
Keep a file of positive feedback – from clients, friends, colleagues, editors! Loads of people I know do this. Someone I know keeps screenshots of nice comments on her posts in a folder called “I am awesome”, another has a scrap book of brilliant things she’s done and prints out any testimonials to put in there too. You can do it however you like, but the idea is that when that self-doubt voice shows up then you hit them with the evidence.
Dazzle the doom with your glorious proof: “See, I’m not useless!” “Katie thinks my article is the best thing since sliced bread.” “5 ***** and more if she could – no losers here!” The neural pathways are trained to pick out the negative, so you really do need to hammer it home with the positive evidence and praise to drown out the teeniest negative voice.
For more tips on writing and mental health, subscribe to my podcast, “Out of Office,” and download my FREE Ebook “Journal Prompts to Build Creative Confidence“. And don’t forget to come and join my creative community on Instagram, where I share tonnes of advice and ideas for overcoming issues like self-doubt, procrastination and lack of motivation!
by Fiona likes to blog | Feb 27, 2019 | ANXIETY, Freelance, Uncategorized
At some point, in every job I’ve ever had, I’ve felt like an impostor. I’ve felt unqualified to make coffee, not good enough to manage a team and certainly not smart enough to write a book.
But you know what? I’ve done all of those things, and while I can’t guarantee my cappuccinos were ever frothy enough to win any prizes, I was never truly an impostor.
It was all in my head.
Here’s what I wish I’d know…..
1. It’s real and totally normal
It’s a psychological pattern in which you doubt your accomplishments and have a persistent, internalised fear of being exposed.
2. It gets worse the higher up the ladder you climb
It always amazes me to think that even billionaires feel like impostors sometimes. Every Oscar-winner has probably felt like a fraudster as they make their acceptance speech, having the most exciting moment of their career live on stage in front of the world.
Part of impostor syndrome is that it’s actually rife amongst seasoned experts. Scientists and writers at the top of their game are all likely to experience it even though the world sees them as extremely knowledgable in their field.
3. It’s not just women who get it
While early research assumed impostor syndrome was most common amongst high-achieving women, it’s now widely acknowledged as an issue experienced by both sexes. Tom Hanks gets it!
4. It can contribute to low self-esteem
I didn’t realise that every small piece of criticism I got was feeding into my impostor syndrome. I could get hundreds of positive comments from my boss and then one small negative thing would stick with me for weeks or even months, grinding down my self esteem. This made me feel like a failure and like I was a really bad employee and just a rubbish person in general.
5. It makes you work hard
The more I succumbed to impostor syndrome the more intent I became on proving myself wrong. I was so scared that I was going to be disciplined or fired that I worked really hard to prove to the world that I was a good manager.
6. Sometimes a little too hard
Yes, impostor syndrome definitely contributed to me busting a gut and saying yes to way more things than I could actually handle. I thought that saying ‘no’ was proof that I was unqualified so I bit off more than I could chew which led to burnout and ultimately a mental breakdown.
7. Sometimes it’s a sign you need to move on
I’ve learned recently is that it’s OK to quit. If you constantly feel like a failure and you think that it’s related to your job then maybe it’s not right for you. There is a time in life for getting out of your comfort zone but there’s also a time when you need to be right there in it, just coasting along and enjoying other things.
8. But most of the time it’s a sign that you’re embarking on something exciting
Feeling a mix of fear and excitement at work is quite special. It can propel you forwards. I’ve recently started doing a lot of speaking engagements and I’m choosing to look at it as a learning opportunity. I may not be qualified but the more I do it the better I’ll get at it!
9. There are simple ways to counteract it
I’ve learned two really simple and effective ways to cope with impostor syndrome, so much so that I managed to make a huge career change from working in catering to becoming a freelance writer and published author in just a few years without any relevant qualifications. I talk about it in my book Out of Office; Ditch the 9-5 and Be Your Own Boss.
10. Sometimes it’s helpful
Don’t believe me? Cosmopolitan editor Farrah Storr puts is like this:
“Those that ask questions are those that get ahead,” says Farrah. Impostor syndrome is nothing but a “control valve that alerts us when we are in our discomfort zone”. And what happens in that dreaded zone? Personal growth. Accelerated growth to be exact.
Have you experienced impostor syndrome? How did you deal with it?
