by Fiona likes to blog | Oct 4, 2017 | ANXIETY, BEAUTY, DEPRESSION
Look let’s not beat around the bush. Christmas is coming. Depending on when your reading this, it may be nearer than you’d like to admit.
As I’m writing this in October, I’m aware that many of you are December Deniers. You’re refusing to accept that the festive season is imminent, soaking up the the thick stench of Autumn and bathing in pumpkin spice lattes with Hocus Pocus playing on repeat in the background. I feel you.
I’m all about that Autumnal life. I live for that sweet season where it’s too warm to wear my Practical Coat but cold enough to buy new scarves, hats and boots. But here’s the thing – Jon Snow was right and Winter is coming.
I’ve written at length before about coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder over the colder months, as well as my general disdain for Christmas in general, but I can’t avoid that December is on the cards.
So what do those of us with anxiety do when something is worrying us? We prepare, goddammit and we prepare WELL. Say what you will about my mental illness but I really know myself, so now is the time for my ultimate self-care protocol to come into full effect.
We all know that January is all about a ‘new you’ (I can smell the bullshit diet books already) but I have a plan. I want to take all the sadness and disappointment that comes in the new year and I want to deal with it now, before it becomes overwhelming.
Dealing with things before they get out of hand is becoming my thing. I just set up a Facebook group called Get Stuff Done with Depression (if you have depression or even just feel unmotivated you should definitely check it out) which is really flourishing.
I realised that I’ve been heading towards this big mental barrier which occurs in December and January so I wanted to get organised. So that’s what we’ve been doing. I’ve created a Get Organised in October challenge which offers a tip every day of the month to help me and my group get on top of things. It includes everything from savings plans, to emails, to clearing out the cupboard under the sink. The best part is, we’re dealing with it before it gets out of hand.
Then I was invited to the Superdrug Christmas event where they showcased some of the new products they’ll be releasing for Christmas, and I just had to share the best ones with you. This is not sponsored, and I honestly hadn’t planned on doing a blog post about the event but I was just SO blown away by what they had on offer that I felt obliged to share it with you.
So here are some of this ways I’ll be taking care of myself in the lead up to Christmas to ensure I have a mentally stable holiday:
Take dem vitamins
I’m proud to say I’ve been following a plant based diet since January this year, but the one thing I’ve noticed is that my hair hasn’t been as healthy as it used to be. Maybe it’s the lack of animal products, or stress (or a combination of both) but it’s been starting to get me down. When I was offered these Hairburst Chewable Vitamins I was so chuffed, cause it’s really exactly what I’ve been looking for. Hopefully by January the breakage will have calmed down and I will be feeling a bit better about my hair.
Famous for nursing even the worst hangover, these Blackcurrant flavoured Vitamin C effervescent tablets are xx flavour and are a great little pick me up for those days when you’re low on energy. I’ll be knocking these back with my hair supplements and my usual daily dose of b12.
Treat those feet
It’s funny how in summer feet are out main priority (sandals don’t get much of an outing in the UK) and when Christmas comes we forget all about them. These treatment socks are doused in moisturiser and promise to keep your tootsies in tip top condition. Perfect for the party season too.
Flu jab
It’s bad enough if you suffer with mental illness over winter but to be struck down with flu as well is a total downer. It’s exhausting and can really have a knock-on affect to your mood if it takes a while to shift. That’s why I opted for the flu jab from Superdrug. Although it’s not guaranteed to stop you getting the flu it does help protect against the strains which are most likely to take hold this winter. I didn’t even know you could get the flu jab in Superdrug stores so check out if your local one offers it here.
Spruce up your make up bag
Now is the perfect time to invest in updating your make up bag before you blow your next pay check on Christmas presents for everyone else. I love the B. range which is exclusive to Superdrige and the Revolution range is always a favourite of mine. Did you know you can get E.L.F make up in Superdrug now too? It’s so reasonable and great for updating your colour range every season.
Time for a holiday?
If possible, schedule a little break away before the Christmas madness starts. I’m lucky enough to be having a week in the sun in October and I think it’s really going to help me through the winter months. Maybe get a long weekend away in a hotel or even stay with a friend to get a change of scenery. A walk along the beach even on a cold day does a lot for my mental well being so I’m really looking forward to soaking up some rays this month.
Are you prioritising your self-care routine this Winter?
by Fiona likes to blog | Jan 24, 2017 | LIFE
When I was 17 I grabbed a box of the brightest red hair dye I could afford and went from blonde to copper one Friday afternoon in my parents’ bathroom. It was the first time I’d thought ‘fuck it’ and done something on a whim. I kept it that way for a few years, but as my career progressed I returned to my natural shade of blonde in the hope that I would appear more ‘professional’ and ’employable’.
Since turning 30 have had a few more ‘fuck it’ moments; including going back to that copper shade I was when I was 17. I’ve decided it’s time to stop doing what other people expect of you. Here are a few examples..
1. Playing it safe with your hair colour
If you like to experiment with your hair then good for you. Pink and blue hair
is kind of trendy right now, but if you want it that colour until you’re 60 then rock on. Some people think bright coloured hair looks unprofessional but nothing says, “I get shit done” like a mermaid inspired bouffant, in my opinion.
2. Settling for a job you hate
For years I climbed the corporate ladder in an industry I hated. I didn’t have any other skills (or so I thought) after doing the same type of work since I was 17. I spent years getting promoted, taking on extra responsibility and earning reasonably good money for what I did. I had an office and my own department and it looked like I had it all together. Really I was terribly unhappy and it took a mental breakdown to realise my career wasn’t making me happy. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough to try something different.
3. Eating something you know makes you feel shit
Sometimes only Oreos will do. I get it. But when you’re sat in a restaurant and you know that eating dessert is going to make you feel overly-full and bloated then don’t do it. You don’t have to order burgers and fries when you know you’d rather have salad (those days DO exist, I promise). You don’t have to keep up appearances for fear of looking like you’re a stick in the mud – eat what makes you feel good.
4. Drinking alcohol
A glass of bubbly to cheers to someone’s new job or 30th birthday is often seen as obligatory. Just because someone hands you a free glass of cheap cava doesn’t mean you have to drink it! If, like me you know that alcohol brings out the worst in you; why bother?
5. Going for the healthy option
Similarly, it’s easy to feel like you have to eat what people expect you to eat. So you told people at work you’re on a diet and the next day you want a cheeseburger. You probably don’t want to eat it in front of those same people in case they comment on how you’re diet didn’t last long, or they talk about you behind your back. I felt like this for a long time and I would regularly eat ‘healthily’ in front of others and binge on junk food in secret. This often meant that I would overeat when I was alone because I felt so panicked and ashamed of what I was doing. Eat that goddamn cheeseburger.
6. Wearing something conservative
I spent my life trying to dress appropriately according to my peers. Hearing the dreaded phrase “What’s everyone wearing?” before a night out used to put me on edge. I probably already had an idea of what I wanted to wear and if not, I didn’t need a panel of gorgeous ladies giving me suggestions. Wear what’s comfortable. Wear what makes you feel fierce. Wear whatever is clean that day cause it’s not really that important.
7. Agreeing with someone’s politics
I’m the ultimate ‘nod and agree’ person in any social situation. I hate confrontation (who the hell doesn’t?) so I tend to just go along with whatever the general consensus is on a topical subject and hope that we get back to talking about the weather before it gets too complicated. I’ve realised though, that my opinion is just as important as anyone else’s. If I hear someone saying something that I think is racist, sexist or morally wrong then I think I have a responsibility to question it. If they can see my side of the argument that’s great; if not then at least I can say I tried.
What do you do to please other people? Are you willing to try and stop?
by Fiona likes to blog | Jan 13, 2017 | YEAR OF GRATITUDE
It time to explore the year of gratitude again, and I’m so excited to talk this week about how grateful I am to have my husband! If you like this post then check out this post from LuLu Blue on the same subject.
I don’t think you need to be in a relationship to be happy. Quite the opposite in fact; you need to be happy in yourself to develop a good relationship. I don’t talk much about my marriage online because it was my choice to start blogging – not his – and it’s not my place to start sharing our private life online. There are however a few things I want to highlight;
He has showed amazing strength throughout my mental illness
When I quit my job and soon realised I was unfit to work at all, he was incredibly supportive. He didn’t make me feel guilty about being unable to provide an income to our household and even though I often felt like I wasn’t contributing, I never felt under pressure to go back work until I was ready. I acted irrationally for many months. My social anxiety was particularly crippling but he was always by my side in those situations where I felt I might have to ‘escape’ at any moment. As soon as I needed to leave I gave him the secret nod and off we would trot, calmly without any fuss. This was an immense help to me because when I felt like a total weirdo he didn’t question it.
He brought me to Birmingham
When he was offered his dream job in June 2016 and given a month to relocate, I didn’t think twice about screaming “Yes! Let’s go”. I’ll admit I had some teething issues when we first arrived – no surprise there – but I’m so happy we left Glasgow to come here. Obviously I still pine for real potato scones and Irn Bru on tap but Birmingham has given me so many opportunities with regards to blogging, work and meeting new people. I’m pretty sure I would never have ended up here (geographically and mentally) if it wasn’t for him so I’m incredibly grateful for that.
He accepts me entirely
We forget when we fall in love that things change. People’s interests and desires grow and adapt over time and this has been true for me over our 12 year relationship. When we met I was a rock-chick who slurped cider for breakfast. Now I’m a gym-addict who loves nothing more than a night in with a face mask and a bowl of soup. I’ve been a size 20 and a size 10. I’ve had a well-paid management job and now I work for minimum wage. No matter what decision I make or how I think I look to others, I know that I’ll always have the unconditional love of my husband.
What are you grateful for this week?
by Fiona likes to blog | Dec 9, 2016 | BODY POSITIVITY, LIFE
One thing that went unnoticed when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety was my fixation on food. As my condition got worse I was obsessed with fitness and eating healthily, two obsessions which are often seen positive factors in someone’s life. For this reason I’ve never had my eating problems medically diagnosed, and have struggled to get my eating habits back to what I consider normal. In the past year I’ve come on leaps in bounds in this aspect of my life, as well as working towards a more positive body image. Here’s what I’ve stopped doing in 2016…
Tracking calories
I used to have My Fitness Pal on the homepage of my phone screen so that I could input everything I ate throughout the day. Ideally, I would record all the food I was planning to eat the night before so that I could plan exactly what I would eat and what ‘treats’ I could fit in throughout the day. The problem with calorie counting for me was that eventually fitting in treats became the main goal, so I would eat very low calorie foods like salad and vegetables in order to eat a bar of chocolate straight afterwards. Fat has more calories per gram that protein or carbohydrates so I would avoid most fats to keep calories low. Little did I know that fat consumption is extremely important for maintaining a healthy body and it started to affect my hormones and brain function. Ultimately I became too focused on calories instead of the quality of the food I was eating, so I gave up.
Eating clean
No one can actually define what ‘clean eating’ is, so why the hell should I try an emulate a vague statement that so many people are hailing as the next big thing? Some people include honey, sweeteners and cereal bars and others don’t even allow the use of salt or heaven forbid, shop-bought products. They would have you grow everything from scratch in your own garden and eat it raw, whilst others are publishing books packed with ‘clean’ brownie recipes. It takes way too much brain power to figure out the rules never mind actually abide by them.
Always choosing the ‘healthy’ option
After years of reading tips on how to eat low calorie meals the go, at work or in restaurants I became a seasoned pro at selecting the ‘healthy’ option in any given scenario. This meant substituting fries for salad, bread for more salad and dessert for a cup of tea. I still try to eat a well balanced diet most of the time but when I’m in a restaurant or in a rush I don’t stress as much as I used to. I try to listen to my hunger cues and eat to satisfy those instead of making a ‘perfect’ meal.
The ‘all or nothing’ approach
I’ve had those bad days which involve eating family size boxes of biscuits, pot noodles and peanut butter straight out of the jar. I’ve even planned for those exact days after weeks of restrictive eating where I munched on only carrots and chicken to get my goal weight. I would load up on all the junk food I wanted and cram it all into one massive binge session happy in the knowledge that I would be back on my low calorie, no junk plan the next day. The guilt associated with this was extremely upsetting, as the binge never made me happy in the way I thought it would. Days later I would be sick of restricting and be planning another mammoth eating session and the cycle continued. I’m now a firm believer in “a little bit of what you fancy does you no harm”.
Eating less than 1000 calories per day
This is just stupid, and anyone who advocates this type of meal plan should be avoided like the plague.
Meticulous meal-planning
Obviously planning your meals is a great way to get organised and helps with creating shopping list and sticking to a budget. I still like to batch cook meals in the form of soups, chilli and cottage pie and have them in the freezer for when I’m in a rush or have nothing fresh in the fridge. I am however, totally over the idea of planning every single meal and snack for the entire week. A meal plan which is that detailed is perfect for someone who needs educating on portion sizes and which foods are best in a balanced diet. I feel like I know enough about food and how my body works to make those choices myself. It also means I can eat more when I’m hungry, less when I’m full and go ‘off plan’ without feeling like I’m a total failure.
Relying on caffeine
When I was creeping towards my goal weight (just writing that makes me feel slightly sick) I was at the tail end of a year-long diet which was starting to take it’s toll on me mentally and physically. I was constantly tired, hungry and cranky whilst nervously counting down the hours to my next meal. I would stay awake with black coffee and caffeinated diet sodas only to find I would crash an hour later. If it wasn’t time to eat I simple cracked open another drink and waited nervously. I dread to think what my body was doing to cope with the lack of calories and the excess caffeine. Now I have one or two coffees a week, sometimes none at all.
Cutting out carbohydrates
Not happy with cutting out fats I tried to limit my intake of carbohydrates too. I considered them ’empty calories’ as protein is supposed to help you feel satisfied for longer so I decided they weren’t worth worrying about. I would eat bolognese without the spaghetti, a bacon sandwich without the bread and roast dinner without the roast potatoes. I’ll never go back.
Exercising to compensate for over-eating
I used to exercise everyday for at least 90 minutes and up to 3 hours per day. I was so terrified of gaining weight that I would factor in extra workouts before or after a big meal to try and burn off the extra calories. This is reasonably sensible but probably not essential when my idea of a ‘big meal’ was a slice of toast. Now I exercise a few times a week and try to fit in classes like yoga to help with my mental health.
Avoiding eating out at restaurants
The prospect of eating out at restaurant was extremely stressful when I was in a severe calorie deficit. On one hand I knew it was safer to eat the food I cooked myself to know exactly what was in it, but on the other hand every fibre of my being was screaming out for a big plate of something delicious. The cravings were so intense that I would normally go but I had to know in advance exactly where we were going so that I could plan what I would eat, ideally with a look at the menu beforehand. It really took the joy out of what is supposed to be a fun, sociable experience. Nowadays I eat out 2-3 times a week and eat until I’m full with whatever I’m craving at the time.
What diet habits have you given up? Are you ready to start 2017 with the aim to love your body more?
