Depression is a tough subject. There’s no getting away from the fact that it’s a painful illness that affects many of us, but I want to take a moment to talk about recovery and how it can begin to happen without us realising. I didn’t think I would ever recover, but I did. To mark Mental Health Awareness Week 2017 here’s an account of how I went from just surviving to thriving.
The small things matter again
I can’t pinpoint exactly when this happened for me, but I remember vividly how difficult it was for me to see the point in doing a lot of things. Showering seemed pointless, as did cleaning, wearing nice clothes or taking pride in my home. I didn’t wear make up because I thought, “I just have to take it back off again” so I didn’t bother. This idea of having to do things repeatedly was something that really tore me up inside.
Getting a part-time job was a major factor in helping lift that feeling, because doing the same tasks everyday was essential to doing my work correctly. I started waitressing in a cafe where I’d previously worked as a teenager, so it didn’t take me long to remember how to do everything.
Cleaning down at the end of the night and making sure everything was stocked for the next day was just enough responsibility to make me feel like I could contribute something to society and be helpful to others. Once I saw the positive effect my effort had on other people I felt compelled to continue.
Hobbies are fun again
Although I maintained my passion for fitness during the worst stages of my mental illness, other pastimes didn’t appeal to me any longer. I didn’t enjoy shopping or going out with friends. I used to love going to the cinema but I often found myself unable to concentrate during a movie or would fall asleep half way through.
When I started to take an interest in blogging again, I knew I had won back some of the enthusiasm for life that had been absent for so long. In the past ten months I’ve worked on my blog almost everyday without fail. I still get tired and frustrated with all the hard work but I really enjoy it overall. I get so much satisfaction from being creative and talking about mental illness online that I can’t see myself ever giving it up.
I can spot my obsessive behaviours
Writing about my mental illness means I’ve become even more self-reflective than before. As a result I’ve been able to better judge my behaviour and spot when I’ve been acting irrationally. I used to make family and friends change their plans to make sure I could still go to my scheduled keep-fit classes. I would control which restaurant we went to to ensure I could eat a specific type of food for weight loss, and I would be very anxious if any of those plans changed at the last minute.
I quit dieting about a year ago and since then my whole outlook has changed. I have the freedom to eat what I want and it’s made me feel a lot more laid back about things in general. Now I can see that I was really just using that as a form of control and I’m trying to work in improving that.
I can support others
Having depression makes it extremely hard to be sympathetic to others. I couldn’t talk to other people with depression because I was unable to say any kind words. I felt like I was the only one who felt this bad, and that no one – not even someone with the same illness – would understand.
I spent many months relying on my husband and family to assist me with everything. I needed help getting ready, going to appointments and making basic decisions, so how could I hold my own in a conversation with someone just as vulnerable as me? It wasn’t until I was working with a young girl who had depression that I realised I was strong enough to reach out and offer support to someone else.
Somehow, I’d come far enough to be able to lend a helping hand and acknowledge that someone else was in distress. I don’t know how much I really helped her in the grand scheme of things, but I was always kind and tried to listen to her issues and offer as much advice as possible from my own experience. I didn’t realise I was better until I could actually tell someone else with confidence that they would get better too.
I can ignore negative thoughts
Recently I’ve realised that I’m now able to acknowledge my mental illness and let the symptoms play out without letting them affect me too much. I know the things that make me anxious; busy places, being around drunk people, meeting new people and long journeys on public transport. I’ve figured out that I can still put myself in those situations and not crumble, and it feels amazing!
I plan ahead as much as possible and distract myself when negative feelings arise. I avoid caffeine because it makes my anxiety worse. If I do these three things then I know I can ride out the storm and come out the other end unscathed.
I wish I could say I wake up at 5am every morning and do a home yoga session before breakfast but it’s simply not true. I’m not a morning person. Ew, just saying that phrase feels wrong. How can anyone wake up chirpy? It defies logic to me.
If I’m being honest I have noticed that my day goes much smoother when I use the morning hours to my advantage, so I’ve introduced a few early morning hacks for a happier day.
1.Get your greens & vitamins
Since changing to a plant-based diet in January I’ve been very aware that I need to get all the right vitamins and minerals in my diet to stay healthy. Although I’m certainly no expert, I can tell you that I’ve been taking iron, b12, vegan fish oil and vitamins A, C and D every morning and have noticed I’m less tired and my nails are in great condition!
I’m trying to get more leafy greens throughout the day so I add a cup of spinach to my smoothie too. These simple additions are a great insurance policy to an already pretty healthy diet, and I’ve found it really easy to implement into my routine.
2.Make breakfast convenient
They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day and although that’s up for debate, a quick and easy option is always better than nothing at all. Prepping the night before is a good idea if you’re always rushing in the morning. If you like porridge then you will love overnight oats; a chilled version of your favourite hearty breakfast with zero cooking required. Top with different fruits, nuts and seeds to add variety to your morning meal.
For something you can drink on your commute then a protein shake is perfect. I normally drink my Huel shake on my ten minute walk to work. Simply add a few scoops to a shaker and add water. I like to sweeten mine with My Protein chocolate peanut butter flavour drops and it’s like having a milkshake for breakfast!
3.Plan your day
This is something that many of us struggle with. We sleep in late, stumble out of bed and get going before we’ve really planned out what we need to do that day. With a little forward planning it can be easy to make your day more efficient and enjoyable.
I like to plan out my clothes the night before to save time. This doesn’t mean expertly styling a runway-ready outfit! It basically means I make sure I have clean underwear, matching socks and a few work wear options hanging up ready to throw on without too much thought.I also pack my gym clothes to make sure I get in a workout before I come home.
In the morning I spend a few minutes planning what I’m having for dinner and write a list of anything I need to to pick up from the supermarket. I also go through my emails and red flag anything that needs attention straight away. After my shower I spend about an hour replying to emails and write down any tasks which need to be completed by the end of the day.
4.Get handbag ready
Having anxiety means I’ve identified a few triggers that make me feel nervous throughout the day. Going without food for a long period of time can often make me feel sick and panicky, so if I’ve got a stressful day ahead I always try to take a few healthy snacks in my bag for emergencies. My current faves are Clif Bars and Brazil nuts.
I also get stress headaches and although I normally have painkillers with me, I’ve started to try alternative forms of headache relief which is great if you don’t like taking tablets. I like 4head as it gives quick, cooling relief which can be particularly soothing when I’m anxious.
If you’re OK taking tablets you might also benefit from these Be Calm pills from Superdrug. I find even if I don’t take them it gives me peace of mind knowing that they’re right there in my bag if I need them.
For longer journeys it’s always great to remember a phone charger and your favourite book. I also carry a notepad and pen so I can make lists; a good way to easily de-stress whilst on the go.
Do you ever feel like you need a holiday just to recover from being on holiday? I get this all the time, and I realised it’s because I wasn’t setting aside time for self-care when I was away. We often feel obliged to cram in as much sight-seeing or partying as possible, instead of actually taking time to rest when we have the chance. If you’ve got a holiday coming up I suggest being mindful of a few things in order to make self-care a top priority…
Fuel your body
Although being on holiday is a great excuse to enjoy a few treats that doesn’t mean neglecting what your body really needs. I love this post from Rachael about how overeating at the weekend can make you feel terrible, and it’s exactly the same for holidays. Eat what makes you feel good (cake and chips, obvs) but also eat what makes you actually feel good (you know… the odd carrot, lettuce leaf and potato).
It’s easy to get carried away with trying everything on offer just because it’s there, but remember that self-care means listening to your body and knowing what it wants. I like to eat a big breakfast otherwise I get hangry and all of a sudden I’m ordering a burrito, fries and planning dessert before I’ve even finished lunch.
I personally find that fuelling my body early with a big bowl of porridge and fruit helps be feel satisfied and mentally ready to start the day without feeling deprived. I also like to avoid alcohol (just my preference, no judgements) and drink lots of water, eat plenty of greens and avoid too much sugar before bed.
Find comfy holiday clothes
Wearing summer outfits gives me the fear. I’m not made to exist in a hot climate, so finding clothes that are appropriate is a real struggle for me. I want to wear long, flowing skirts and little white cotton dresses but the truth is chub-rub is REAL. These thighs were not made to meet on such a regular occurrence.
As much as I’d love to look all flirty and feminine on the beach it’s just not comfortable for me. How can I be expected to catch a break when I’m physically uncomfortable? I say wear what feels right.
For me, that’s loose-fitting harem pants, leggings and big-old denim shorts. Being at ease with your physical self is SO important to allow your mind to unwind, so wear what you want and feel free.
Stay active
You should absolutely take time to catch up on some sleep when you’re on holiday. I remember when we were on our honeymoon, we didn’t make it to the breakfast buffet once the entire week and it was fabulous! Waking up naturally without an alarm is an amazing feeling, but try to stay as active as possible throughout the day to avoid any unnecessary fatigue.
Walking outside is so helpful to keep your body ticking over as well as induce those mood-boosting endorphins. It will also help you get a better sleep in the evening meaning you should naturally rise earlier the next morning.
Plan some alone time
As an introvert, I personally find a week stuck in other people’s company a little overwhelming at times. I crave downtime on my own because that’s how I recharge my batteries and find energy for the next day.
My favourite way to find alone time on holiday is to go to the gym. It’s my own space where I can reflect but still do something productive that I enjoy and I generally leave the gym feeling more energised that when I went in. Weird, right?
I know this isn’t everyone’s idea of fun though, so try and find the thing that works for you. It might be a soak in the tub, a massage or a good hour getting lost in your favourite book. Whatever works.
Have you made a self-care plan for your next holiday?
I’m the queen of stressing out. I can appear calm and collected on the surface for weeks, but it only takes something small and insignificant to tip me over the edge into total meltdown-mode. I’ve learned a few tricks over the years and now implement all of them on a daily basis to keep me relaxed, or call on them to tackle those panic-stricken moments that come out of the blue.
1. Listen to a podcast
I’ve never managed to maintain a blogger-style morning routine (are any of those real?) but one thing I consistently do in the morning is listen to podcasts. When I get out of the shower the first thing I do is put on an episode of My Favourite Murder whilst I get ready.
Yes, true crime relaxes me and I know you won’t judge me for that. It’s the dedicated ‘me time’ that I don’t often find elsewhere in the day, and it lets me forget about work and instead listen to two hilarious ladies explain the details of gory murders that have happened across the globe.
2. Go for a walk
There is something about waking outside that really helps me focus. Putting my phone on silent in my pocket definitely helps matters, as does breathing in the fresh air and getting a new perspective on things.
If you’re feeling stuck creatively, or just putting off doing certain things I honestly think walking outside is the perfect motivation. It helps clear your head, releases endorphins and gives you that can-do attitude that’s so hard to find when you stay cooped up indoors.
3. Write a list
Sometimes actually doing the things that stress you out are just too much, and I for one like to bury my head in the sand as long as possible before getting proactive. That’s where my love for planning comes in.
When I’ve got too much going on in my head, I take a pen and a notebook and do a ‘brain-dump’, something I learned from the incredibly organised Jenny Melrose. It’s basically a way of writing down all the thoughts, tasks and to-dos that are swirling around your mind in order to feel a little better. Once you have the list of random thoughts, you can start constructing some sort of plan.
This is great because it allows you to pick out the easiest jobs that you can complete quite quickly. For the more daunting tasks, dedicate a whole page to mapping out the smaller steps that need to be taken making the job easier to manage. Ta-da! More planning = less stress.
4. Organise a small space
Looking for organisational tips? You won’t find them here. I’m pretty scatter-brained when it comes to household chores and really don’t take any pleasure in cleaning, but I will admit that it feels good to do it now and again.
When I’ve got a growing to-do list sometimes I find it helpful to take 30 minutes and tidy up a small area of my home, as it leaves me feeling more motivated to continue with my day. For me this area is normally the kitchen. I cook a lot from scratch so I make a mess in there. I like to wash all the dishes, clean the surfaces, sweep and then mop the floor and then I normally feel a little more calm and collected.
5. Talk
Talking is such a simple thing, but something we often neglect to do when we’re feeling stressed. We’re conditioned to bottle things up, battle on and continue spinning plates until they all coming crashing down around us. We wonder why we can’t do everything all at once, but everyone has different capabilities and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I ended up seeing a counsellor because I couldn’t be open about my problems.
Pick up the phone and call someone you trust. Tell your colleague that you’re a bit over-worked. Text that one person who knows you inside out and ask for help. I let out most of my minor aggravations on Instagram stories on a daily basis and people always respond with helpful messages to pick me up and make me feel better.
Have you found any easy ways to feel less stressed?
Getting sick is SO frustrating. You eat your veg and take your vitamins but sometimes the body can’t fight off infection without a few rest days. I don’t know about you I can’t wait until we’re all floating heads inside robot bodies (joke).
As someone who prides myself on prioritising fitness and healthy eating I am horrified at the idea of having to take time off work to recover from illness, but I’m starting to see the importance of sick days and nipping it in the bud instead of struggling on and feeling miserable.
With that in mind here are a few simple and easy to follow tips that you might not have thought of for staying happy on a sick day.
Eat carbs
Although you might lose your appetite when you feel sick it’s key to keep eating to ensure you have enough energy to recover. My favourite comforting carbs are pasta, mashed potatoes, rice or a huge pile of toast smothered in peanut butter. If you’re too tired to cook grab a Cliff Bar for an energy boost with zero effort.
If you’re not hungry or you can’t really taste food, I recommend making a smoothie jam-packed with spinach and bananas (I love this post from Amy about the health benefits of bananas) and leave to chill in the fridge before drinking. A nice cold beverage will soothe a sore throat and help keep you hydrated too.
No guilt
There are two types of people, those who call in sick at the drop of a hat and those who would rather die at work than take a day off. Hello! I’m the latter.
I really hate taking days off due to sickness and only do it when my back is playing up because I physically can’t get out of the house. To me, sitting at home feeling guilty is more painful than showing up for your shift when you’re under the weather. I’d rather suffer that day than let anyone else down, but we all know that’s a pointless attitude to have.
I’ve been trying to work on my guilt – in every aspect of my life – for a while now. I’m definitely getting better, but it takes time and practise. If you want to truly feel better about yourself on a sick day then try your best to remember that your health comes first, and without it you’re useless at work, as inconvenient as that may be!
Get dressed
I was ill recently and spent the first day in bed, wearing the same pyjamas all day with my hair matted and my face unwashed. The next day I forced myself to get up, take a shower, get dressed and managed to drag myself to the store to buy some medication.
I felt so much happier on the second day, and although that may have been the medication I also just felt more alive because I was dressed in something other than smelly old PJs. You also might like to take it a step further and treating yourself a face mask. I like this Garnier Sheet Mask because it requires minimal effort but really plumps up dry, dehydrated skin.
Open a window (or at least the curtains)
Fresh air might not be what you’re body is craving, especially if you’re cold, but consider opening all the curtains in your home when you’re feeling unwell.
Studies have shown that workers in sunlit areas are more productive than workers without exposure to natural light, so if you want to speed up your recovery having a natural light source is a good idea.
Not only does natural light increase endorphins and serotonin leading to improved mood, but did you know it can even boost your white blood cell count? Get those curtains open!
Stay connected
Being home alone all day can be a real downer. I’m a total introvert but even I think that being sick needs company! Obviously if you’re infectious (no, I’m not talking about your infectious charm) then it’s a but unfair to subject others to your germs, so you might want to find company via phone. Normally my mum is the first person I speak to when I’m sick because she’s the best at sympathy. Mums are good for that!
Chat to friends on Twitter or WhatsApp but avoid emails in case you get sucked into work related enquiries. Text that friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with, or Skype your long lost cousin. Whatever keeps you occupied and in the loop with other humans is essential.
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