I’m writing this after a bloody lovely night’s sleep. I drifted off quite easily at around midnight and when the alarm went off at 6am I didn’t have my usual morning thought; “Can I justify quitting my job today?”
I actually felt quite awake and ready to start the day. I know, weird right? Maybe you’re blessed with the morning motivation to get up early and bust out some yoga poses whilst the rest of us hit snooze for the ninth time, and if that’s the case then I’m truly happy for you… (I know you can sense my sarcasm so I’ll not labour this point any longer).
For the rest of us watching ‘morning routine’ videos on You Tube hoping that it will rub off on us, I say embrace your tiredness. It’s who we are now. There are however ways to cope on those days when sleep deprivation starts to get a little grating. I recently went to work on zero sleep (call it a social experiment) and have a few tricks up my sleeve on how to function when it happens you.
Vitamins
Vitamins are no substitute for a well balanced diet and exercise routine, but I like to think of my supplement intake as an insurance policy for days when I’m not feeling my best. This article from My Protein has a few interesting insights into which vitamins can specifically help with tiredness and fatigue, and includes a few of my favourites. It’s worth pointing out that many of these are available in Superdrug and they currently have a 3 for 2 offer on loads of them!
I don’t take a lot of supplements but there are a few I always have on hand. B12 is good for tiredness and injury related fatigue, and can increase stamina when taken over an extended period of time.
Many of us are Magnesium deficient and replenishing your stores can help improve the symptoms of chronic fatigue.
Without enough Zinc your cells are unable to properly utilise any other vitamins you consume, resulting in a severe energy drop. I like to take this daily.
Without Iron, your body has to work a whole lot harder to get the energy it needs, which can leave you feeling tired, weak, irritable and unable to focus. Sound familiar?
I also have a stash of Glucose Plus C which gives you an instant hit of Vitamin C when you need it most. It comes in an easy to use powder formula which I mix into my morning smoothie.
Minimal make up
I’m all for the zero make-up look when I’m feeling fresh, but after a sleepless night I find I need a little something to brighten up my tired looking chops. Eye drops are a lifesaver for bleary eyes and these Superdrug ones are cheap and easy to get hold of.
If you fancy something a little more luxurious I also highly recommend the Liz Earle Brightening Eye Treatment for a soothing and reviving treat for tired, puffy eyes. I know it is particularly popular with contact lens wearers.
Normally I’m too groggy to fuss about with brushes and beauty blenders, and this Garner BB Cream is perfect for applying the old fashioned way with my fingers. I’ve been searching for YEARS for the perfect lightweight foundation that gives that ‘barely there’ look and feel with enough coverage to last all day. I tried loads before I finally tried this Garnier one and was so glad to find that not only is the shade (extra light) perfect for my pale complexion but the formula is quick to apply and hydrating too.
After using this I normally just go in with my favourite concealer, fill in my brows and add enough highlighter to give me that ‘I definitely slept’ glow. I find the perfect amount of highlighter for this occasion is a fair to generous amount, obviously.
Careful with caffeine
If you’re trying to function on basically zero sleep then you will no doubt be reaching for a large cup of coffee or an energy drink as soon as you start your day. However coming from a person who not only LOVES coffee but is also highly sensitive to the stuff, I urge you to choose your poison carefully.
In my experience, consuming caffeinated beverages when I’m tired does not wake me up. Yes, it makes me more alert but it does not give me more energy or make me feel more rested.
As I’ve been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and have suffered from panic attacks in the past, drinking caffeine only serves to heighten the stress levels in my body at a time when it’s already struggling to function normally.
For this reason, I will always stick to decaf coffee when I’m tired. I have talked endlessly about my favourite decaf instant coffee, this Percol Columbia Instant Arabica which is HANDS DOWN the best decaf coffee I’ve ever encountered. It’s so good, I don’t even need to add milk or sugar. It’s that good.
So there we have it, my foolproof guide to acting like functioning human being when if feels physically impossible. What are your tips?
Quitting my job to recover from depression was a huge decision for me, but also one that I was confident making. I knew I needed complete rest and absolutely no stress to rebuild my life. However being unemployed brought its own problems and feelings of inadequacy, which in a funny way spurred me on to work on getting better and finding a job I could enjoy again.
Even now – years later – taking a sick day for my depression is something I really struggle with. I feel well most of the time, but when I relapse I feel like the world is coming to and end. I feel helpless and unmotivated.
It might seem clear to others looking in from the outside that a day off is the best medicine, but my train of thought is a little more difficult to navigate.
Being off sick causes feelings of guilt
When I feel a depressive episode hanging around ominously overhead, I have a bad habit of ignoring it for as long as possible. Most doctors or therapists would suggest taking a personal day – something that isn’t offered in my workplace – to nip the bad feeling in the bud by practising self-care.
Instead I normally power through the feeling of impending doom by casually throwing more stress at the situation by continuing to work, hitting the gym and working on my blog in the evening.
I inevitably burnout and need 48 hours of non-stop sleep and slothing around in dirty pyjamas, surviving purely on Hob Nobs and pizza.
Rest is essential during this period. But the problem for me is that as much as I despise going to work when I feel depressed, the feeling of being off sick is somehow marginally worse.
I feel useless. I feel like a ‘faker’. I feel like I’m being dramatic. I don’t feel like I deserve the time off. This isn’t necessarily a reflection of how others react to my mental illness, it’s really just a symptom of the illness itself.
Days off for my mental health make me feel like a failure, and don’t always make me feel better.
Depression makes me question every action I take and somehow twists it around to be a terrible decision, no matter what it is. It’s the nature of the beast.
Most employers don’t understand depression
If you think there’s no stigma around mental illness in the workplace then I’m afraid to say you’re a little naive. Even if you’re lucky enough to have a direct line manager who understands your situation and allows you time off no questions asked, you’re likely to know other people at work who are less accommodating.
People talk about me behind my back. I know they do. As much as I’d like to say that it doesn’t affect me, it does play a part in my decision to take a sick day when my depression is really bad.
I don’t want other people to think I’m lazy, even though I know I’m not. I don’t want them to think I’m faking, even though I know I’m not. I don’t want them to have to work extra hard to make up for my absence.
I don’t want to have the conversation of “how are you feeling?” once I return to work. I just don’t. I want to go to work and forget about my mental illness as much as possible.
So sometimes, going to work feeling awful is just an easier option.
It costs money
We all know that out health should be a priority. Does that stop us from drinking to excess every weekend? No. Does it stop us from stuffing our faces with sweets and popcorn at the cinema? No. Does is stop us from lying horizontal for six hours whilst we binge watch Netlfix? Absolutely not.
So when comes to taking sick days, sometimes money takes priority over more my mental health. That doesn’t mean I always value money over my health, but some days I just need the god damn money. I’ve got shit to do.
Maybe I’ve got a friend’s birthday coming up or a Father’s Day gift to buy. Maybe I ripped a hole in my work trousers and I need to buy a new pair.
As much as I’d love to take a personal day to get the rest I need and stop my symptoms getting worse, sometimes going to work and collecting a wage at the end of the week is the main priority.
Maybe things will change in the future and it’ll get easier for me to take rest when I need it, but for now it’s a tricky balancing act of many factors which are always changing.
I never thought I’d be one of those people who would say fitness changed my life. But here we are. I’ve exercised almost every day for the past five years and I don’t want to imagine a life without it because it makes me so unbelievably happy.
It all began with a Zumba class. I trudged along with my mum to a Saturday morning class and discovered the endorphin rush that comes from using your body to move. Really move. I couldn’t get enough of it and I’ve never looked back.
I found a structure to my day which I so badly needed.
When I was diagnosed with depression was told to take some time off work and that turned into almost an entire year of unemployment. Taking time off was absolutely the right call, as I needed some space to let my medication kick in as well as attend regular counselling sessions.
Apart from that and a weekly appointment with my GP I didn’t have much scheduled in my day. I would often sleep for more than twelve hours a night as my body and mind recharged, but when I was awake I would regularly go to fitness classes.
Booking into a Spin class at 7am just didn’t work for me. I was too tired and unmotivated in the morning, but by 5pm I was often full of nervous energy and felt the need to do something productive. I would book ahead to confirm my spot and this meant I was loosely committed to attending the class or I would have to pay a small fine. This worked wonders for me as I was held accountable in a small way for getting out of the house.
I ended up going to between 5-7 classes per week and it forced me to get dressed, socialise with others and get out of my own head for an hour or so. I know people will think that it’s crazy I found the motivation to do that when I was depressed, and I don’t really have a full explanation for that. I just did, and I’m so grateful for that.
I lost my identity and created a new one
Being off sick from work made me feel very vulnerable. The stigma around depression is still so rife that I wasn’t strong enough to tell most people why I wasn’t working. This led to anxiety in social situations because I felt I was going to be caught off guard at any moment and have to explain what my job was, or admit that I wasn’t working at all. I thought without a career title I had nothing to say.
Everyone has their own way of coping with depression, and I found fitness particularly helpful in my darkest moments. When I started going to fitness classes regularly, I tested out every different one I could find. I did Spinning, Zumba, Body Pump, Pilates, Yoga, Metafit and many others. I became quite knowledgable about strength training, fat burning and was also very physically fit. In fact, I was the fittest I’d ever been and that gave me a new sense of identity.
I felt I belonged to the fitness community, even when I couldn’t get out of bed before midday or keep my house clean. When I couldn’t stop crying for days or find the courage to talk to others, I still felt part of a world where – even if just for a few hours – I could thrive. In a fitness class I was just like everyone else. I was fit and able on the outside even if I was crumbling on the inside.
I suddenly realised that I could change my future, and take my career in a new direction.
Putting my career on hold to focus on my mental health was a huge decision. At the time I thought I would absolutely return to my career in catering to be a manager again. After a few months of being off sick, I realised how much my work life had been contributing to my unhappiness.
I wasn’t built to handle the stresses that came along with managing a team, thinking on my feet and having a vision for a department in an industry that ultimately I had no passion for. It’s not to say that everyone needs to be in love with the work they do, but I couldn’t hold a position of authority in a place where I really didn’t care about the outcome.
After going to fitness classes every day for a year I had the idea that I’d like a career in fitness. I knew most of my class fitness instructors by name and many of them encouraged me, and offered to let me shadow them when I started training.
I started off by looking at the options available. To take a group fitness class I would need to do the Exercise to Music qualification. Although I was interested, I was nervous about the idea of standing in front of a room full of people and remembering a routine whilst keeping in time and correcting everyone’s form. I wish I’d had the confidence to go for it at the time but I just wasn’t ready mentally.
The thought of training people one-on-one seemed way more approachable so I signed up for the Level 2 Gym Instructor course and passed. Not only was I pleased that I’d passed the exams, I couldn’t believe how far I’d come in terms of my confidence.
I did the course over five weekends in a place I’d never been before with people I’d never met. I finally realised that if I was brave enough I could do all the things that I’d been afraid to do because of my anxiety.
Since then I’ve moved to a new city 300 miles away from home, found a new job, secured writing work and taken my blog from a hobby to a real passion. I honestly believe that I owe it all to that first step in the right direction when I did a Zumba class. My only hope is that one day I have time to go back and do that Exercise to Music course and add another string to my bow.
Depression is a tough subject. There’s no getting away from the fact that it’s a painful illness that affects many of us, but I want to take a moment to talk about recovery and how it can begin to happen without us realising. I didn’t think I would ever recover, but I did. To mark Mental Health Awareness Week 2017 here’s an account of how I went from just surviving to thriving.
The small things matter again
I can’t pinpoint exactly when this happened for me, but I remember vividly how difficult it was for me to see the point in doing a lot of things. Showering seemed pointless, as did cleaning, wearing nice clothes or taking pride in my home. I didn’t wear make up because I thought, “I just have to take it back off again” so I didn’t bother. This idea of having to do things repeatedly was something that really tore me up inside.
Getting a part-time job was a major factor in helping lift that feeling, because doing the same tasks everyday was essential to doing my work correctly. I started waitressing in a cafe where I’d previously worked as a teenager, so it didn’t take me long to remember how to do everything.
Cleaning down at the end of the night and making sure everything was stocked for the next day was just enough responsibility to make me feel like I could contribute something to society and be helpful to others. Once I saw the positive effect my effort had on other people I felt compelled to continue.
Hobbies are fun again
Although I maintained my passion for fitness during the worst stages of my mental illness, other pastimes didn’t appeal to me any longer. I didn’t enjoy shopping or going out with friends. I used to love going to the cinema but I often found myself unable to concentrate during a movie or would fall asleep half way through.
When I started to take an interest in blogging again, I knew I had won back some of the enthusiasm for life that had been absent for so long. In the past ten months I’ve worked on my blog almost everyday without fail. I still get tired and frustrated with all the hard work but I really enjoy it overall. I get so much satisfaction from being creative and talking about mental illness online that I can’t see myself ever giving it up.
I can spot my obsessive behaviours
Writing about my mental illness means I’ve become even more self-reflective than before. As a result I’ve been able to better judge my behaviour and spot when I’ve been acting irrationally. I used to make family and friends change their plans to make sure I could still go to my scheduled keep-fit classes. I would control which restaurant we went to to ensure I could eat a specific type of food for weight loss, and I would be very anxious if any of those plans changed at the last minute.
I quit dieting about a year ago and since then my whole outlook has changed. I have the freedom to eat what I want and it’s made me feel a lot more laid back about things in general. Now I can see that I was really just using that as a form of control and I’m trying to work in improving that.
I can support others
Having depression makes it extremely hard to be sympathetic to others. I couldn’t talk to other people with depression because I was unable to say any kind words. I felt like I was the only one who felt this bad, and that no one – not even someone with the same illness – would understand.
I spent many months relying on my husband and family to assist me with everything. I needed help getting ready, going to appointments and making basic decisions, so how could I hold my own in a conversation with someone just as vulnerable as me? It wasn’t until I was working with a young girl who had depression that I realised I was strong enough to reach out and offer support to someone else.
Somehow, I’d come far enough to be able to lend a helping hand and acknowledge that someone else was in distress. I don’t know how much I really helped her in the grand scheme of things, but I was always kind and tried to listen to her issues and offer as much advice as possible from my own experience. I didn’t realise I was better until I could actually tell someone else with confidence that they would get better too.
I can ignore negative thoughts
Recently I’ve realised that I’m now able to acknowledge my mental illness and let the symptoms play out without letting them affect me too much. I know the things that make me anxious; busy places, being around drunk people, meeting new people and long journeys on public transport. I’ve figured out that I can still put myself in those situations and not crumble, and it feels amazing!
I plan ahead as much as possible and distract myself when negative feelings arise. I avoid caffeine because it makes my anxiety worse. If I do these three things then I know I can ride out the storm and come out the other end unscathed.
I have such admiration for people who can continue to work whilst being treated for mental illness. I struggled so badly that I had to quit my job and was subsequently out of work for over a year whilst I built up my confidence to return.
I know for some people going to work is the one thing they continue to excel at whilst their mental health suffers, but for me it simply wasn’t an option.
It took me a long time to come to terms with that. When I lost my career I felt like I lost my identity, but I wish I’d realised that is was OK to be off work. It was OK to need help. It was OK to take as much time as I needed. It was more than OK – it was necessary.
Whether you’re off work for a day, a week or a prolonged period of time; you should use this time to make your recovery as wholesome and speedy as possible.
Don’t beat yourself up
Once you’ve decided to take time off, it can be common to feel guilty about being at home resting whilst your family and friends go out to work. You may feel bad that your colleagues are left with more work to do, but remember they’re mentally well enough to cope with added stress whilst you are not.
With the physical symptoms of mental illness often hard to see, certain employers often doubt whether they are there at all. This can be very frustrating – but try not to let it get to you. It’s merely a reflection of how little knowledge most people have about mental illness, and not an indication of whether or not you should return to work. That’s a decision that should be made by you with the advice of your GP.
Consider your finances
If you’re unemployed or off work long term this can be very stressful for a lot of people. If you’re running out of savings you should be honest and consider making a plan for the future. If you live in the US you may want to have a read of the DRB Capital structured settlement review. I was receiving benefits and Statutory Sick Pay when I was off sick abd residing in the UK, more information on which can be found here.
Any extra cash can be pivotal when you are no longer earning full time, and this will also help take the pressure off you rushing back into work when you’re not totally ready to do so.
Implement a routine
When you’re out off work for a prolonged period of time it can be hard to find structure in your day. I know for me the days often ran into one another, with sleeping taking priority over eating, showering and staying in contact with family. You should try to avoid the days slipping away by implementing a loose routine.
Try setting your alarm every morning and try to follow a basic self-care routine. This could be something as simple as getting up before midday and making a cup of tea. Over time you can add more difficult tasks such as washing, cooking breakfast and leaving the house. This will give some purpose to your days without adding too much expectation or pressure.
Try to stay active
This doesn’t mean going a run everyday or religiously going to keep-fit classes like I did, but it will benefit you to get out of the house and move around a little most days. I know how hard it can be to get out of bed and it’s OK to spend all day sleeping when you need it. But if you do feel the urge to do something like rearrange your bedroom or pop to the supermarket then you should capitalise on that positive attitude.
Completing the smallest tasks can feel like a big win when you’re at an all time low. I remember one day following a bad spell of my depression I suddenly felt compelled to clean my windows. It felt like such an achievement and as silly as it sounds, it was such a great day for me and my recovery.
What steps are you taking to help with your mental illness whilst you’re off work?
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