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Why therapy is magic with mental health advocate Jo Love

Why therapy is magic with mental health advocate Jo Love

by | Oct 6, 2021 | ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, PODCAST

Let me introduce you to Jo Love. She is a Trainee Psychotherapist, award-winning Mental Health Advocate, Artist and Author of Therapy is… Magic. 

In this episode of the Out of Office podcast we cover:

 

  • Jo’s squiggly career journey from lawyer to business owner to trainee psychotherapist
  • Why self-employment isn’t always the key to a healthy relationship with work
  • What therapy really is (and isn’t)
  • Things to consider when you think about getting therapy

In this episode, we also discuss our favourite non-therapy self-care activity; journaling. If you’d like to access free journaling prompts you can download them over on my resources page.

About Therapy is Magic

 

In this part memoir, part mental health resource and how-to guide, Jo Love throws opens the door of her therapist’s office and shines a light on what exactly goes on in the therapy room.

With the help of experts, including her very own therapist, Jo opens a rare window into the real world of therapy, unpicking the magical powers that enabled her to re-find her own voice, restored her resilience through the cloudiest days and ultimately saved her from her own mind.

Each chapter includes:

  • A therapy list where Jo shares her knowledgeable insights into therapy
  • Inspirational voices in the mental health space on the life-changing effects of therapy
  • A ‘From the Other Chair’ section featuring expert opinions from mental health professionals
  • ‘Need Help Now’ suggestions

 

therapy is magic jo love

Therapy is … Magic moves away from the stigma sometimes associated with seeking help, and shines a light on the emotional and physical benefits of talking therapies. Jo Love shows us that with professional guidance we can heal ourselves and the relationships we have, tackle addictions and trauma, and save our minds.

How to create a freelance routine when you have depression

How to create a freelance routine when you have depression

by | Feb 28, 2019 | DEPRESSION, Freelance

I absolutely love being a freelancer, but routine has never been one of my strengths.

I feel really proud when I get to introduce myself as a full-time writer, and I actively encourage others to pursue their dream of being self-employed because I think it can be incredibly fulfilling in a number of ways.

Truthfully though, I felt backed into a corner to become freelancer because of my mental health.

I’d been juggling depression, anxiety, waitressing and blogging for a few years and eventually it all became too much. I realised that I would have to give something up so I took a leap of faith and jumped into freelancing.

I still don’t make enough money as I would like, but I have something much more valuable to me and thats flexibility.

With that in mind-  and over a year’s worth of trial and error in the bank – I thought I would share my tips on how to create a freelancer schedule that works if you have depression.

Make shorter to-do lists

Hands up if your daily to-do list spans several pages?

Take it back to basics and only write 3 things on your to-do list every day. It means you will never get overwhelmed and you’ll almost certainly get them all done, leaving time at the end of the day to pick up extra tasks

Figure out your pattern

Before you can create a schedule you need to figure out what times of day, week, month are most productive for you. Admittedly, this will take you a while to pin down. I advise that you start by tracking your moods over the course of a month and spot patterns. When are you tired? When are you bursting with ideas? When are you really driven to get more done? When are you falling asleep at your desk?

Here’s what my day tends to look like:

  • 9-11am: I am not very productive in the morning so I never do creative work as soon as I get up. Instead, I do emails and chase invoices.
  • 11am-3pm: I’m on a roll in the middle of the day so I normally spend that time doing deep work like writing or coming up with ideas. In the afternoon I’m no good at proof-reading so I always leave that to the next day
  • 3-5pm: Working on fun stuff like eBooks, graphics, Instagram or researching new topics. I also schedule meetings and interviews in the afternoon otherwise they tend to eat into the time of the day where I’m most productive and it ruins my output for the day.

As you can see, its not really a steadfast schedule but it works for me. The most important aspect for me is flexibility. It’s loose and open to interpretation depending on how I feel that day.

Figure out what makes the most money

This might sound like a no-brainer, but take a look at your finances and figure out what made you the most money in the last few months. Now make that a priority. For me, it’s magazine writing. This means that when I sit down to come up with feature ideas I have a few publications in mind that I want to work with which makes the process more efficient.

Identify what drains you

For me, it’s public speaking and travelling. Luckily I don’t need to do to much of this, but every now and again I get an opportunity to go to a great event in London or to promote my book in front of a group of people.

Even though the experience has an impact on my mental health, I still want to pursue these things because they are good for networking, sales or they just sound like good fun. Nowadays I make sure that when I say yes to these things I space them out on my calendar.

For example, I try to only travel to London once a month and always schedule in a day at home straight after to allow myself to hide under the duvet for a few hours and work from bed if needs be. I also try to only to one speaking engagement or podcast recording per week, as it normally means blocking off a whole day.

Plan for down days

If you wake up feeling really mentally unwell, then the chances are you’re not going to be very productive that day. That’s OK, and something you need to learn to plan for and forgive yourself for.

How I get around this is by using those days to do things that don’t require much brain power. Normally, creative work is out the window but that doesn’t mean I can’t use the time to do administrative tasks like chasing late payments or sending out emails to prospective clients. Nothing too taxing, literally just an email saying hello and requesting a meeting.

This might not fall into the concept of ‘creating a schedule’ but I truly believe that part of managing your time as a freelancer with depression involves anticipating a dip in your mood. Remember, moods are unpredictable but working from home means that you can deal with it!

Out of Office: Ditch the 9-5 and Be Your Own Boss is available now!

 

freelance routine depression
7 reasons why you need to make an emergency self-care box

7 reasons why you need to make an emergency self-care box

by | Feb 22, 2018 | ANXIETY, DEPRESSION

I’ve had my reservations about the term self-care. It seems to be taking over the internet, forcing us to take regular bubble baths and spend a fortune in Lush products in order to maintain sanity and I’m really not feeling that way of life. Recently though, I looked bit deeper into the meaning of self-care and I had a bit of a revelation.

If you’re struggling to understand exactly what self-care is and how it should be practised, simply remove the first word and you’ll find a simpler way of looking at it. So remove the word ‘self’ from the equation, and reflect on the word ‘care’ for a moment.

What does the word ‘care’ mean to you? It makes me think of a hospital, or an old folks home. It conjures up images for good Samaritans giving out hot food to the homeless, or a mother caring for a newborn baby.

Care is all about taking steps to maintain heath, especially in those who are vulnerable. Self-care is all about applying this concept to yourself.

What does it mean to you?

Self-care is an individual thing. For you, it may very well be a bubble bath and I don’t want to take that away from you! But the reality is that it can vary greatly from person to person and change dependent on the situation.

Sometimes the time when you really need to take care of yourself is when you’re feeling at your absolute worst – maybe you’re physically exhausted or just mentally drained – and that’s when an emergency self-care box can really help

1.It’s like mental health insurance

When you’re feeling low, you might hear that nagging negative voice in the back of your mind that likes to tell you that your worthless. I get it quite regularly, and it has the potential to hinder your ability for self-care.

If you’ve taken the time to prepare a little box full of things that might make you feel better, it’s like having a box of bandages ready for when you cut yourself. It helps you heal faster.

2. It’s cheap

Are you prone to a bit of retail therapy when you feel crap? Good news then, because making this little box of self-care activities should theoretically distract you from your usual bad habits and replace them with warm and fuzzy feelings.

 

3. It’s creative

I’m a huge believer in creativity as a force for good in the world of well being, and the act of making your emergency self-care kit will be a project of this nature. It will give you a chance to explore the sides of your personality that come out when you feel low, and figure out how to soothe yourself through other activities.

4. It’s convenient

No more rummaging around for a face mask when you need a little pick-me-up, or building yourself up to visit the pharmacy for painkillers. Everything you need should be in your kit so that all you have to do it grab it and select what you need in that moment.

 

5. It’s fun to make

You can keep it simple and fill a shoe box with everything you need, or take it one step further and make it into an entire project. Go through magazines and find images and quotes that inspire you, then use them to decorate the box so that it fills you with joy whenever you look at it.

You could even ask friends and family to write positive notes that you can open up when you need them, and include photos and fragrances that evoke good memories.

6. It’s unique to you

There will be no other self-care box that meets your needs better than the one you make yourself. Fill it with your favourite smells, lotions, drinks, music and photographs to make sure that whenever you open it you feel totally at home.

7. It’s a thoughtful gift

Once you’ve mastered making one for yourself, why not try making a gift for a friend or family member? Again, this can be as creative as you like so you’re actually using it as a self-care activity for yourself too. Checking all the boxes!

My suggestions:

One of my mental health zines You Got This – both of which are filled with kind words and friendly advice on how to deal with down days.

Anything by Laura Talanti, it’s all really thoughtful and beautiful to look at

gifts for depression
These positive affirmation cards are a daily routine for me, but you could add some to your box for when you need some good vibes

Some sort of notebook, like this Five Minute Journal

What will you put in your self-care box?

The perfect gift idea for loved ones with mental illness

The perfect gift idea for loved ones with mental illness

by | Nov 10, 2017 | DEPRESSION

I’m OK

A post shared by Fionalikestoblog.com (@fionalikestoblog) on

Living with a mental illness is difficult all year round, but it can be especially testing at particular times such as birthdays and Christmas.

I personally feel like I don’t deserve to receive gifts at Christmas, because I feel like I’m a hassle to deal with a lot of the time.

Obviously that’s not true, but it just goes to show how your view of the world can easily become distorted when you have a mental illness.

Earlier this year I was sent a box of I Can Cards by the owner Amy, and they’ve been one of the most helpful things I’ve ever been sent.

Just a friendly reminder on this gloomy Monday 💪🏻

A post shared by Fionalikestoblog.com (@fionalikestoblog) on

Every day I pick one of the 25 cards, read the positive affirmation and use it as a ways to stay in tune with my mood throughout the day.

I actually record this daily on my Instagram stories so head over there if you want to see me talk more in depth about each card.

Each affirmation is written by people who have experienced the same life changing events and situations, which means every single card really resonates with me on a personal level.

It really is amazing how powerful affirmations can be, and how they can help set the tone for the rest of your day.

Amy sent me the Depression and Anxiety pack which I connected with instantly, and I’ve also bought the Self-Care pack for myself and as gifts for friends.

You can also choose the Warrior Woman, Single Parent, Break Up or Post-Natal Depression box.

“We are trying to offer comfort, motivation, reassurance and love through the cards, and most of all knowing that you aren’t alone and that others understand exactly what you are going through.

Sometimes there aren’t any solutions or quick fixes to tough situations, but there are still glimmers of hope and love that you can embrace.”

Amy has just announced that there is a special Self-Care Christmas box too, which is so gorgeous!

It comes with some chocolate, a handmade luxury candle, inspiration artwork, wrist reminder and of course a pack of I Can Cards.

They come beautifully hand wrapped too, and I know I’d be incredibly touched if someone gave me this as a gift.

They are a limited edition though so grab them quick!

Sometimes it’s hard for friends and family to find the words to say “I care” to those of us with mental illness. So why not say, “I can” instead?

Find out more here.

Why I’m ditching self-care and searching for ‘restorative space’

Why I’m ditching self-care and searching for ‘restorative space’

by | Oct 30, 2017 | DEPRESSION

The idea of spending 60 minutes sweating it out in a public gym with strangers is most people’s idea of hell on earth. The smell, the obnoxiously placed mirrors, the overly friendly personal trainers and then there’s the real stinger – having to actually PAY for the privilege to experience all of the above. But for me, it’s where I go practise my version of self-care. In fact, since I started working out in 2012 I’ve barely had one week where I’ve missed a session. I’m not particularly fit or trim, but I’m definitely living proof that exercise is good for people with mental illness.

I’m always preaching that everyone should take 30 minutes a day to do what they love. Find what makes you happy and make time for it every day, and that’s your self care routine taken care of. Easy.

But as I sit here peddling aimlessly on a squeaky bike at my local gym, hurriedly typing this blog post into the notes app on my phone, I can’t help but question whether I’ve taken a wrong turn down the self care path.

Like every other female blogger I’m obsessed with Emma Gannon and all that she stands for (the specs, the boots, the quiet yet ever present confidence) so I’ve been listening to her podcasts regularly.

She recently appeared on the BBC Radio 4 Woman’s Hour where she and the other guests discussed work life balance; something which I always need advice on.

The phrase “restorative space” came up and to be honest I’ve never heard of it before. If self-care was the phrase of 2017 then I think I might have just found the next big thing for wellness gurus everywhere.

If you search “restorative space” online you’ll find that it’s actually a term used in dentistry – clearly the Deliciously Ellas of the world haven’t caught on yet – so I have defined this new phrase on my own.

From listening to Emma, Ash, Zeena and Rosie talk I got the impression they were using it as a way to describe activities which help give us an energy boost. A way to refuel the tank, if you will.

I found this quote about such activities which I thought summed up my thoughts nicely;

“Some of the psychological benefits of leisure might include, but are not limited to, increases in self-actualization, self-identity, self-esteem, or self-concept; personal enjoyment and growth; reduction of anxiety and depression; enhanced feelings of spirituality; and improvements in overall psychological well-being” (Human Kinetics)

But this idea of restorative space got me thinking. How is different from self-care, and how can women find this ‘space’?

During this gym session alone I’ve listened to a podcast, started writing a blog post and answered two emails not to mention several Tweets. Is this kind of multi-tasking negating the effectiveness of my previously successful self-care workout slot?

It definitely is.

So maybe I should forget my self-care plan – which tends to be a reactive solution to my mental health problems – and instead focus on a proactive solution?

Does is deserve it’s own time slot?

Finding time to recharge my batteries is a tricky business. I’ve been honing my self-care skills for months now, slowly adding activities to my repertoire and pulling them out of a bag Mary Poppins style, but it’s a struggle.

I’m so easily distracted. I just had to stop typing this to read a Facebook message which can best be described as an animated chain letter, and now I’m on Pinterest planning dinner. Where was I?

So maybe I need to reframe my idea of self-care from a single activity to an actual time slot. I think reserving a 30 minute segment in my day where I turn off all electronic devices is a great start, even if I don’t have a ‘self-care activity’ planned.

Surely being disconnected from technology and having some quiet time is a step in the right direction?

Is it a physical area?

I’m always throwing self-care activities into the mix without actually being present to enjoy the benefits. I’ll treat myself to a morning coffee, only to reach for the final sip and realise I finished the damn thing an hour ago and have been scrolling on my phone mindlessly ever since.

I’ve lost an hour of my time which I specifically took out of my working schedule and haven’t even managed to enjoy a simple coffee break without distraction.

As women, we constantly do this. We take 15 minute bath masqueraded as ‘me time’ when it’s actually a daily requirement to wash oneself. We say we ‘love to cook’, when really we have to cook to feed the family, and guilt is stopping us from serving pizza for the third night in a row. We get an early night to recharge, only to get up early to catch up on housework and emails.

We are too busy trying to be efficient workers, mums or wives and have started to see the bottom of the laundry basket as a sign of self-development. When will we start doing things truly for ourselves once in a while?

Maybe a restorative space can help us? Is it a real place? The spa? The park? The back garden on a fresh, sunny morning where just five minutes of silence and a few deep breaths can act as the antidote to an overactive mind? Wherever it is, I want to be there.

via GIPHY

The self-care movement has been hijacked

If I see one more list of self-care activities on Pinterest, I’ll spontaneously combust.

The whole idea of self-care is actually a very boring one as explained by artist Hannah Daisy. She created a popular series of drawings around the hashtag #boringselfcare and feels that the sentiment of self-care has been wrongly re-appropriated by people on social media. In this blog post she explains;

“Self care seems to mean, on the internet anyway, activities you only engage in as a luxury, like the classic; fancy bath bombs or buying fancy crystals. Often activities which cost money, are only nice things or only available for able bodied people.

For me I think even the way ‘self care’ term is used, it insinuates you have to do it yourself, shaming an alienating those who need actual people and carers to do it for them (for what ever reason, physical, emotional and/or neuro diversity etc.)

This is not my understanding as a mental health professional at all. Self care refers to all the activities we need to do day to day and the ‘self’ bit doesn’t mean you have to do it yourself.”

Self-care is more that just a list of activities which we get to pick and choose from to make ourselves feel extra special. It’s actually the day-to-day things that are often essential to survival, like taking our medication or noticing our stress triggers.

I’ve been guilty of using the term self-care frivolously and I’m well aware that the media has grabbed hold of it too. I love this article by Ellen Scott where she says “Stop using self-care to try to sell me sh*t”.

How often have you read an Instagram post with #selfcare and #ad in the same caption? It says it all really.

Well today, I’m giving self-care the elbow and proclaiming it a new age. The age where a mentally unstable women like myself needs to rebrand her leisure time (stay with me) and coin and new phrase. This is the age of the restorative space and I’m stepping into it.

I will be restored!