ANXIETY Archives - Page 9 of 9 - Fiona Fletcher Reid

How to declutter your mind in 30 minutes

by Fiona likes to blog | Aug 22, 2016 | ANXIETY, FITNESS, LIFE

I spend so much of my life stressed out. Stressed out for reasons that are stupid and pointless for the most part; with my internal voice posing various questions such as “How many toilet rolls do we have left and will I remember to go to the shop for more?” I know, riveting stuff right?

Sometimes I worry about money, my health, how I treat my friends and how often I see my family. Other times I wonder if my life has been memorable. Have done enough good in the world? Then I think about the toilet paper again. So naturally, I need to find ways to calm the chattering voices in my mind, to find some serenity in the madness. Here’s how I do it…

Write a list

Writing lists is a really straightforward way of offloading thoughts from my mind onto paper. I have an app, diary, journal and a notepad all on rotation depending on where I am and what kind of notes I need to take. I use Google Keep on my mobile to collect all different types of list from a basic ‘to-do’ to blog post ideas, useful websites, research to do, meal ideas and personal mantras.

In my diary I can create bullet point lists for more pressing tasks and assign them to specific days which really helps me relax, because even though I haven’t taken care of ‘the thing’, said thing is now part of my grand plan so it will get done. My notepad is for more elaborate lists, or expanding on ideas and I often use mind mapping (I know, I’m a total geek but I’m cool with it) to come up with ideas for my blog.

My journal is reserved for those times when I have a barrage of negative thoughts filling up in my mind. Like an overstuffed suitcase I need to take out the excess and discard it somewhere safe. In my journal I write completely honestly, knowing that no one will ever read it, and I often start without an idea of what I actually want to say. This can lead me down a rabbit hole, but a cathartic one nonetheless, that ideally ends in some sort of resolution or at least identification of a problem that can be worked on in the future.

Turn off your phone

It might sound obvious but how many times do you actually sit and relax without your phone nearby? I often find myself in the middle of something important, like writing this blog post, only to hear that familiar ‘bing’ that instantly lures my attention away to whatever is happening on social media.

Is losing my train of thought really worth it to find out that someone liked my latest Instagram post? Probably not. If I’m feeling overwhelmed it can be really good for me to pull a curtain over the world of the internet and just be in my own space for a while. It allows me to really focus on one task at a time – surprisingly difficult for me – without that niggling feeling that I might be needed elsewhere.

Exercise/yoga

It’s no secret that exercise is my number one form of stress relief. I get cranky when I haven’t worked out for a few days and I feel instantly renewed when I finally do hit the gym, take a class or even just enjoy a long walk in the fresh air.

Not everyone thinks of high intensity exercise as a way to relax, but for me it’s like the fitness equivalent of ‘giving myself a shake’, realising that things aren’t as impossible as they seem and it can put pointless worries into perspective. Doing demanding moves like burpees and tuck jumps is a way of getting out of my own head.

For an introvert like me it’s also a great way to socialise with others indirectly without too much anxiety. Since moving to a new gym I’ve also been doing yoga regularly and I can really see the benefits. Physically it’s an invaluable tool for relaxing muscles that you didn’t even realise were tense, and mentally it’s perfect for forcing those racing thoughts elsewhere whilst you focus on breathing and holding challenging poses. Although most classes last an hour, apps like Down Dog offer short sessions that can be done at home and act as an instant way to clear your head.

What are your tips for decluttering your mind?

10 things to boost your mood

by Fiona likes to blog | Aug 8, 2016 | ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, LIFE

Suffering from anxiety and depression is a full-time gig. I’ve come to realise it’s the little things that add up everyday to either make or break my mood, and when I can feel my mood start to take a dip I have a few ‘go to’ habits that will often stop me from slipping into a low state of being that lasts a few days.

I have gone through various forms of medication and treatment over the past few years, and this is by no means a cure for this horrible illness. It’s simply a few pointers for when I feel that dark cloud start to appear overhead – a few things that help me day to day and you might find useful.

What are your top tips to boost your mood?

The honest truth about relocating your entire life

by Fiona likes to blog | Jul 28, 2016 | LIFE

My husband and I relocated to Birmingham last weekend from Glasgow. I wasn’t planning on blogging about it because I wasn’t sure it was that big of a deal. It would probably be the first thing on most writer’s minds when they start to type, but sometimes when you’re so deeply involved in a situation you disassociate yourself from the enormity of it all (a whiff of denial is definitely in the air here). I certainly do anyway.

I’ve been focusing on the little things that occur on a daily basis – making a nice dinner, rearranging the new flat, exploring my local gym – instead of worrying about the fact that we’ve moved 300 miles away from home. No biggie, right?

In fact, distance is only as far as you make it. Since moving I’ve actually reconnected with so many people who have private messaged me to say good luck, or even offered to come visit us. I’ve spoken to most people more than I usually would because I’m so aware of the geographical space between us, and I instinctively want to make the communication lines stronger.

The other thing that has helped me maintain my sanity (for 90% of the time) has been to surround myself with comforting things. I don’t mean physical things like cuddly toys but more like activities that give me comfort, things that help calm my insecurities and make me feel in control of my now non-existent routine.

I ordered an online grocery shop to arrive the day after we moved in, because I have wierd issues with food (for evidence read any food related post on this blog) and like to have healthy, satiating options available to me at all times. This is some deep-rooted fear of starving to death by the way, brought on by restricted eating for the last decade of my life.

Obviously I ordered some treats in there to help with my emotional eating too (I’m looking at you peanut butter) but overall I just wanted to fill our new home with familiar foods that I could use to rustle up a fulfilling plateful, whilst minimising my anxiety around meal times.

I try to make going to the gym a daily habit – for my mood as well as my waistline – so I wanted to ensure I could do that as soon as we moved in. Luckily there is a budget gym just around the corner from that flat and I was already a member so I just changed my location online and I could use it straight away.

I’ve never been able to find a gym with a regular yoga class, so when I saw my local offering four classes a week I jumped – don’t worry I stretched beforehand – at the chance. I was up for the 7am class on Wednesday morning and it felt great to be back practising a good habit for both mind and body. Did you know that early morning exercise actually gives you the legal right to spend the entire day telling everyone what you did and being a smug little twat about it?

So my attempts at damage control seemed to be working pretty well and I’d only uttered “I’m FINE!” in the style of Ross from Friends one or two times under my breath and it had gone unnoticed. All was well. That was, until we need furniture.

Yes people, the most terrifying thing about moving away from home has been having to purchase new Ikea flat-pack furniture and trying to build it before my husband got home from work in some sort of attempt to prove I can be useful. I’m currently unemployed, and after a two day stint at constructing and ruining two sets of drawers I’ve tainted any dream I had of becoming a joiner. There were tears, and many curse words were spoken but I guess I’m still here.

I didn’t fail, I just made a bit of an arse of it.

And on that note, let’s raise a glass to making terrifying life-changing decisions! What’s the worst that can happen?

Christmas…. I’m just not that into it

by Fiona likes to blog | Dec 8, 2015 | DEPRESSION, LIFE

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?

Well I’m trying my hardest to crank up the volume of my headphones as Sia blasts from my phone into my almost burst eardrums, but unfortunately yes, I am listening to the flipping sleigh bells ring. I walk aimlessly around my local shopping centre blinded by twinkling lights, flashing Santa hats and overwhelmingly large SALE signs in every window. The scent of gingerbread lattes and overpriced perfume clings to my winter coat, reminding me that once again Christmas is imminent.

Spoiler alert; I’m not the biggest fan of this time of year. I promise I’m not about to ruin it for you by writing a lengthy blog about how it’s a waste of time and money as I shit all over your reindeer parade. I am happy that it makes other people feel warm and fuzzy enough to hang oversized socks above an open fire (I literally just realised how dangerous this is, please warn others) and I don’t want to take that away from anyone. But must I be forced to participate?

I’m well aware that there are a lot of Bah Humbug types out there squashing the dreams of small children. I’m not one of those people. I’m willing to chat about buying presents, eat a box of mince pies to myself, discuss what everyone’s plans are and what not. Most people aren’t even aware that I hate Christmas. When people ask when I’m putting my tree up I have to skirt around the issue, explaining that we binned our old one when we moved, haven’t got round to finding a new one and don’t particularly want the mess of a real one, when really all I want to say is I DON’T WANT TO PUT UP A CHRISTMAS TREE. I also don’t plan on handing out cards or singing carols round the piano. I’m not sure I can really explain why, other than the fact that joyfulness which has to be scheduled on a calendar just disnae seem right to me.

There have been of course, acceptions to the rule. Times when Christmas was “not that bad” include:

The year I got a keyboard. Aged 10. Plans to become a pop star seemed to be coming to fruition.
The year we went out to a restaurant for Christmas lunch. Didn’t have to watch poor mum stress out about burning the roast potatoes and running out of microwave space. Also, no washing up duties for anyone.
The year I stayed home alone, didn’t shower, ordered pizza, spoke to no one and watched the entire back catalogue of 30 Rock whilst quoting appropriate lines such as “There ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party because a Liz Lemon party is mandatory”. Joke, that Christmas hasn’t happened, yet.

As you can see, its not that I don’t celebrate (in the loosest sense of the word – no alcohol and in bed with hot tea by midnight thankyou very much) Christmas at all . I still buy presents for my close family, eat turkey on the 25th and acknowledge that the whole thing is happening around me, but do I really have a choice? I don’t imagine my parents would be too pleased if I rang up on Christmas Eve and ducked out of plans because I forgot I had to defrost my freezer that weekend. Sorry Mum I can’t make the dinner I really need to get my eyebrows waxed and the girl I usually get is about to go on holiday so its now or never, or at least learn to style my hair to cover the top half of my face for a fortnight. There is literally no excuse that can get you out of Christmas festivities so what’s a girl to do?

Grin and bear it I guess.

The truth about giving up alcohol

by Fiona likes to blog | Jan 7, 2015 | ANXIETY, DEPRESSION

I woke up with a bit of a hangover on January 1st 2014, and I can’t remember having a hangover ever since. So that’s a full year without a hangover – pretty good right? Or if you’re a party animal maybe that’s your idea of hell. Don’t get me wrong, I have had the odd drink, I remember having a few sips of champagne at a wedding in July and I had one glass of wine to celebrate getting engaged, but apart from that I’ve not had any wild nights that I can tell you about.

What I can fill you in on though, is my experience of trying to cope without drinking alcohol, and all the social, mental and physical repercussions that came with that struggle. I’m not saying that everyone’s experience will be the same, and I didn’t give up alcohol because I was an alcoholic (although I did use it as a crutch at times) so if you think you have a serious problem I suggest you talk to a health professional. If you are just curious about what it would be like to give up alcohol for another reason, then read on.

I don’t remember the day I decided to give up alcohol. I was going through some personal issues and the doctor advised that I didn’t drink whilst I tried to get better, and I avoided it for a while, but before long temptation took over and I started drowning my sorrows in red wine. The people close to me could tell it wasn’t helping but most of them let me get it out of system and I think I needed to do that to see that it wasn’t helping. So for a second time I tried to avoid it and I seemed to succeed.

The first stumbling block for me was that it can make ‘going out’ extremely awkward. You’re close friends will understand your decision, but it doesn’t always stop it from being a little strange that they are all sipping cocktails and doing shots whilst you knock back your 5th Diet Coke of the evening. Some people will try to convince you to have ‘just one’ or ‘just a couple’, but to me that was a slippery slope that I wasn’t confident venturing down, and I’m certain it would have ended in tears at the end of the night. A stronger person might be able to stop after one, but not me I’m afraid.

So anyway, by the time everyone else is drunk and dancing on the tables that’s when I would normally call a taxi and make a swift exit. That’s another thing no one tells you about not drinking – you WILL go home alone, earlier than everyone else and you WILL have to pay the entire taxi fare yourself as a result. But I guess you only spend a few pounds in soft drinks instead of £50 on buying rounds for the whole gang so it’s not too bad.

So yes, I will go out to bars and clubs when I am invited, although I only really go when its a special occasion and it would never be my choice. For example, I would go if it was a friend’s birthday and that’s what she really wanted to do. I personally would rather catch a movie or go to a restaurant. So I kind of stopped going out to bars and clubs altogether, and not because I’ve not been invited, but because when you meet new people you have to explain yourself all over again. All of my close friends know that I don’t drink and they don’t make a big deal about it thankfully.

However, some people will be so astonished at this fact that they will proceed to interrogate you in-depth about the reasons behind your decision, whilst you queue at the bar for yet another Diet Coke. I couldn’t handle this conversation for a very long time. I used to say I wasn’t drinking that night because I was working the next day, or had an early workout at the gym, or that I had no money. The thought of having this conversation with a stranger made me so anxious that I tried to avoid it at all costs.

Considering I gave up alcohol to help with my anxiety problems, you can see why having a drink had helped ease my nerves in the past. Have a drink and no one will pick you out as different, and it’ll give you more confidence to act normally in a social situation. Just deal with the hangover tomorrow. No, I couldn’t deal with that vicious cycle any longer so I avoided social situations where drink was involved.

Over the past year I have realised that it’s probably just me who has the problem, not everyone else. At the same time, if they make a big issue of you not drinking, maybe it says more about them and what they need to cope. And here’s where my next point proves very important – never act smug about not drinking alcohol. Yes, I feel great now that I don’t drink. But some people drink a glass of red wine everyday and they too feel great. Some people get smashed at the weekends because they work all week-long and that’s what gets them through.

I do wonder why so many people appear to be dependent on booze, but I also know that I was dependent too, and its so tempting and really enjoyable at times! Everyone is fighting their own battle everyday, with problems that we are unaware of, so if they like to drink then I say just let them be.

Have you given up alcohol?