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Writing as a Tool for Living Through Crisis

Writing as a Tool for Living Through Crisis

“How’s your apocalypse going?”

That’s something I heard Phoebe Bridgers say during the early months of the pandemic and it’s continued to ring in my ears ever since.

Because greeting each other with humour during trying times is a coping mechanism I simply refuse to give up. When you’re exhausted and life seems hopeless, allowing yourself to laugh seems wrong… but sometimes it’s all you have.

via GIPHY

I don’t want to talk about humour today, but I do want to talk about writing as a tool during a crisis. And I use that word because our world is in a crisis.

State of affairs

Here in the UK, we’ve been warned we’re living in a pre-war era. Locally, services for young people, women and the most vulnerable are being cut. Rates of mental illness are increasing across the board and access to support is limited, whilst cost of living increases.

News of violence, injustice, illness, and catastrophe bombard us 24/7 and for those already facing struggles with poverty, racism, mental illness or other challenges, this constant stream of negativity can feel utterly overwhelming.

Finding the motivation to do anything, let alone write, can feel impossible.

Writing through a crisis

Yet studies show that writing can be a powerful coping tool during times of crisis. The act of putting thoughts and emotions into words, especially in a private journal, has been found to reduce stress, depression, and anxiety. Writing helps make sense of chaos, gain perspective, and release pent-up feelings. It can be an emotional and mental lifeline when all seems lost.

Here are 3 tips to help you write during difficult times:

1. Start small

Just write one sentence or paragraph about how you feel right now. Don’t worry about structure, grammar, etc. The act itself is what matters.

2. Write by hand

Computers and phones are likely to lead to distractions, such as news feeds and emails. Write in a real paper journal or notebook. The tactile process can be soothing in itself, giving you a physical marker of your progress.

3. Make it private

We pressure ourselves to write a blog post or a clever tweet too often. Write for yourself, in private, as a way to hear your own thoughts. There’s no need to ever share it.

Acknowledge the vulnerability of writing

Writing requires courage during crisis, and it can help to admit that.

AndI think we know this, we know that writing means opening the floodgates to deep pain, confusion, anger and grief.  But facing that tough stuff in your writing offers long-term mental health benefits. The insights gained lead to post-traumatic growth and a sort of order to the chaos, helping you process events and regain a sense of control.

If you’re facing a crisis, know that you have an powerful tool within you already – your ability to express yourself through words.

CHOOSE TO WRITE.

 

 

Why therapy is magic with mental health advocate Jo Love

Why therapy is magic with mental health advocate Jo Love

Let me introduce you to Jo Love. She is a Trainee Psychotherapist, award-winning Mental Health Advocate, Artist and Author of Therapy is… Magic. 

In this episode of the Out of Office podcast we cover:

 

  • Jo’s squiggly career journey from lawyer to business owner to trainee psychotherapist
  • Why self-employment isn’t always the key to a healthy relationship with work
  • What therapy really is (and isn’t)
  • Things to consider when you think about getting therapy

In this episode, we also discuss our favourite non-therapy self-care activity; journaling. If you’d like to access free journaling prompts you can download them over on my resources page.

About Therapy is Magic

 

In this part memoir, part mental health resource and how-to guide, Jo Love throws opens the door of her therapist’s office and shines a light on what exactly goes on in the therapy room.

With the help of experts, including her very own therapist, Jo opens a rare window into the real world of therapy, unpicking the magical powers that enabled her to re-find her own voice, restored her resilience through the cloudiest days and ultimately saved her from her own mind.

Each chapter includes:

  • A therapy list where Jo shares her knowledgeable insights into therapy
  • Inspirational voices in the mental health space on the life-changing effects of therapy
  • A ‘From the Other Chair’ section featuring expert opinions from mental health professionals
  • ‘Need Help Now’ suggestions

 

therapy is magic jo love

Therapy is … Magic moves away from the stigma sometimes associated with seeking help, and shines a light on the emotional and physical benefits of talking therapies. Jo Love shows us that with professional guidance we can heal ourselves and the relationships we have, tackle addictions and trauma, and save our minds.

My favourite UK mental health speakers

My favourite UK mental health speakers

I know that there are probably another twenty rock solid mental health speakers who could be on this list, but I’ve only included people whom I’ve actually listened to at events near me. People who I’ve personally witnessed, as I wanted to make sure that everyone was top notch… which they are by the way!

Feel free to leave a comment below with some further recommendations in your area of course, as I’m always on the lookout for mental health advocates to connect with. I know that a lot of workplaces in particular want to chat about wellbeing, so definitely leave some links in the comments for me to check out!

 

Jo Love

 

Since I met Jo a few years ago I’ve felt so lucky to have her in my life. I watched her speak at a private event for influencers who talk about mental health and then saw her host a birthday party for her business where she talked on a panel of women who all really know their stuff. She’s one of the most humble and intelligent mental health speakers on Instagram, and always makes time to talk directly to everyone she meets at events. She talks mostly about PND and depression but is always open to talking about the benefits of therapy too. She even did me the honour of hosting my book launch event which was the ultimate compliment.

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{AD} I love that I am constitutionally incapable of looking serious in a photo. Anyway, this is how excited I am to partner with @warehouseuk on their I DEFINE ME campaign, where we’re celebrating women and their defining stories for International Women’s Day. I’ll be speaking at their panel discussion on the 8th March @allbright with @stylemesunday @iamlaurenmahon @miss_esme_young and @amaliah_com. Click the link in my bio to get tickets to the event and find out more about this amazing campaign. You can also purchase the I DEFINE ME tee on their site. 100% of sales from the event and tees go to @rosaforwomen , the only UK-wide fund for women and girls. #warehouse4rosa pics by the lovely @trishaward

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Bryony Gordon

 

I’ve seen Bryony talk once and I find her a pleasure to listen to. Even with the jaw-dropping success, she’s had with her many, many books she still manages to be completely honest when she’s not feeling 100%. I think that’s all you can ask for in a mental health speaker. I find raw, candid speakers the most relatable people to watch.

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Let’s gooo!

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Jessica Jones

 

Also known as The Fat Funny One, you can always rely on Jess to maintain a healthy balance of good humour and self-reflection when she speaks about mental health and wellbeing. I feel like I know her so well from her Instagram stories, and I am constantly inspired by her quest to make women of all shapes and sizes feel body confident. She regularly runs events centred around self-love and confidence.

 

Mary Meadows

 

Life coach, NLP practitioner and writer – this woman is everything rolled into one! I used to be sceptical of the term ‘life coach’ until I saw Mary (badass) Meadows speak. She’s one of those people who can instantly spot your vulnerabilities and use them to make you stronger. One of those people who can look deep into your soul and figure you out in a second. Her tagline ‘everyone needs a Mary Meadows’ sums it up perfectly!

 

 

Chris Young

 

I interviewed Chris in the past for an article I wrote about dissociative identity disorder, something which he explores in more detail in his book Walk A Mile: Tales of a Wandering Loon. I asked him to speak at a mental health event I was hosting and found myself chuckling away for almost forty minutes as he recalled the highs and lows of walking around Scotland talking to strangers about mental illness. A great, inspiring character to liven up any event.

 

Jana Dowling

 

Creator of My Arkeo, a mental health fitness tracker app, Jana knows first-hand what its like to live with mental illness. She brought herself back from the brink of suicide by taking a methodical approach to her recovery in the form of mood tracking. That’s what formed the basis of the app, and she now speaks openly to others and trains them how to find tools to manage their own mental health with a systematic approach that really works. Jana is also a seasoned stand-up comedian so you can always rely on her to brighten up the room with a few jokes.

 

Kirsty Hulse

 

Confidence coach, author and business owner Kirsty has experienced burnout whilst running a company from her bedroom. She learned the hard way that success doesn’t always need to be linked to your bank balance, and has now made it her mission to help other people find confidence at work. Her book The Future is Freelance is an entertaining look at the realities of working for yourself

 

 

Fiona Thomas

 

Oh come on, you know I couldn’t make this list without sneaking my own name in at the end! My speciality is speaking about the power of social media for people who feel isolated by mental illness. I truly believe that it can be a force for good, can help build communities, be a tool for those with social anxiety and ultimately act as a lifeline for those who are struggling to connect in real life. My book Depression in a Digital Age is my own personal journey, one which I know is mirrored by young people across the globe.

 

Want to book me? Email me fiona@fionalikestoblog.com to request more details.

How to create a freelance routine when you have depression

How to create a freelance routine when you have depression

I absolutely love being a freelancer, but routine has never been one of my strengths.

I feel really proud when I get to introduce myself as a full-time writer, and I actively encourage others to pursue their dream of being self-employed because I think it can be incredibly fulfilling in a number of ways.

Truthfully though, I felt backed into a corner to become freelancer because of my mental health.

I’d been juggling depression, anxiety, waitressing and blogging for a few years and eventually it all became too much. I realised that I would have to give something up so I took a leap of faith and jumped into freelancing.

I still don’t make enough money as I would like, but I have something much more valuable to me and thats flexibility.

With that in mind-  and over a year’s worth of trial and error in the bank – I thought I would share my tips on how to create a freelancer schedule that works if you have depression.

Make shorter to-do lists

Hands up if your daily to-do list spans several pages?

Take it back to basics and only write 3 things on your to-do list every day. It means you will never get overwhelmed and you’ll almost certainly get them all done, leaving time at the end of the day to pick up extra tasks

Figure out your pattern

Before you can create a schedule you need to figure out what times of day, week, month are most productive for you. Admittedly, this will take you a while to pin down. I advise that you start by tracking your moods over the course of a month and spot patterns. When are you tired? When are you bursting with ideas? When are you really driven to get more done? When are you falling asleep at your desk?

Here’s what my day tends to look like:

  • 9-11am: I am not very productive in the morning so I never do creative work as soon as I get up. Instead, I do emails and chase invoices.
  • 11am-3pm: I’m on a roll in the middle of the day so I normally spend that time doing deep work like writing or coming up with ideas. In the afternoon I’m no good at proof-reading so I always leave that to the next day
  • 3-5pm: Working on fun stuff like eBooks, graphics, Instagram or researching new topics. I also schedule meetings and interviews in the afternoon otherwise they tend to eat into the time of the day where I’m most productive and it ruins my output for the day.

As you can see, its not really a steadfast schedule but it works for me. The most important aspect for me is flexibility. It’s loose and open to interpretation depending on how I feel that day.

Figure out what makes the most money

This might sound like a no-brainer, but take a look at your finances and figure out what made you the most money in the last few months. Now make that a priority. For me, it’s magazine writing. This means that when I sit down to come up with feature ideas I have a few publications in mind that I want to work with which makes the process more efficient.

Identify what drains you

For me, it’s public speaking and travelling. Luckily I don’t need to do to much of this, but every now and again I get an opportunity to go to a great event in London or to promote my book in front of a group of people.

Even though the experience has an impact on my mental health, I still want to pursue these things because they are good for networking, sales or they just sound like good fun. Nowadays I make sure that when I say yes to these things I space them out on my calendar.

For example, I try to only travel to London once a month and always schedule in a day at home straight after to allow myself to hide under the duvet for a few hours and work from bed if needs be. I also try to only to one speaking engagement or podcast recording per week, as it normally means blocking off a whole day.

Plan for down days

If you wake up feeling really mentally unwell, then the chances are you’re not going to be very productive that day. That’s OK, and something you need to learn to plan for and forgive yourself for.

How I get around this is by using those days to do things that don’t require much brain power. Normally, creative work is out the window but that doesn’t mean I can’t use the time to do administrative tasks like chasing late payments or sending out emails to prospective clients. Nothing too taxing, literally just an email saying hello and requesting a meeting.

This might not fall into the concept of ‘creating a schedule’ but I truly believe that part of managing your time as a freelancer with depression involves anticipating a dip in your mood. Remember, moods are unpredictable but working from home means that you can deal with it!

Out of Office: Ditch the 9-5 and Be Your Own Boss is available now!

 

freelance routine depression
Exciting announcement – The Positive People Podcast is available now!

Exciting announcement – The Positive People Podcast is available now!

If you follow me on Instagram then you’ll already know that I started 2019 with an exciting new project, the Positive People Podcast.

I know what you’re thinking, EVERYONE HAS A PODCAST. Granted, you are correct and I’m not going to deny that the podcast market is somewhat saturated. But personally, I am currently subscribed to 50+ podcasts and listen to hours of episodes every day so I’m hopeful that there are plenty of you folks out there who can spare an hour a week to listen to our show.

I say ‘our show’ of course because I have an amazing co-host called Amy Holland.

Amy is my internet wifey, the gal who I call when I need to talk and the person who will leave me 7 minute long voice notes on a daily basis. She too has experienced mental illness and started her own business I Can Cards as a result.

We are both so obsessed with the mental health community online and really want to help add value to the content we produce. That’s why we decided that a podcast would be the best way to deliver our message of positivity as well as highlight some of the incredible people and stories we come across every day.

We don’t really believe in the ‘think positive’ philosophy.

Instead, we think that owning all the negative aspects of life is actually key to making you feel more positive and powerful in your own skin. We say sit in the sadness when it comes, take the bad days when they come and learn from them. Do what you can and above all, show yourself some self-compassion along the way.

We’ve already got two episodes ready for you to hear and have some awesome guests lined up over the next few weeks including Hannah Fitt of the Safe Foundation, the Anti-Coach Sinead Latham, author Kirsty Hulse and fashion legend Francesca Perks.

LISTEN HERE

ALSO AVAILABLE ON iTUNES

Follow Positive People Podcast on Instagram for updates

My digital depression journey – how the internet gave me a voice

My digital depression journey – how the internet gave me a voice

My first experience using the internet was (probably) in the year 1999.

I was twelve years old and in first year of secondary school learning about an incredibly boring tool called ‘electronic mail’, not because it was particularly helpful or even interesting, but because it was pretty much all there was to do online at the time.

We were in IT class getting some hands-on time with computers. Let that sink in for a moment. We were twelve years of age and required actual ‘hands-on’ training to use a computer. A middle-aged woman in a tweed skirt and silk blouse was going through a step-by-step guide, showing TEENAGERS how to use EMAIL.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t newborn babies better equipped to used tech than most adults nowadays? How times have changed!

 

Anyway, back then none of us school kids were particularly impressed with the thing. After sending a few slurs to each other (e.g. you stink, you fancy Mr Seils the maths teacher) we were all itching to get out of our once exciting swivel chairs and back into a normal classroom setting where we could gossip, throw Blue Tack and the teacher and poke each other with pencils.

The internet was not a big deal. It seemed a bit too much like hard work. That was of course until we were introduced to MSN messenger.

For an awkward teenager like me (weren’t we all?) the ability to talk to people using an online chat function was a gift sent from the heavens. There was no fear of stumbling over my words, going red in the face or inadvertently farting in front of a boy. All of a sudden I could be smart, sassy, witty and knowledgable about cool subjects such as Bob Dylan and Irvine Welsh novels. I didn’t have to be the loudest or the funniest in a group of my charismatic peers, instead, I was allowed to shine in an intimate conversation between two, preferably with a shaggy-haired guitarist from the year above.

I should have realised back then that I was a non-verbal communicator. I am so much more comfortable writing out my thoughts than trying to eloquently form a sentence with my clumsy mouth. I’ve since learned that as an introvert this was always going to be the case, and I wish now that I had pursued my interest in writing from an earlier age.

Alas, my brief obsession with rock music at the age of sixteen (I blame that attractive guitarist) pushed me into a more expressive (or so I thought) vocation and I went to university to study music. Being around a bunch of performers was mentally exhausting, and although I loved singing can say for certain that I never once enjoyed performing on stage. I loved singing and I loved the admiration and the buzz that came AFTER the performance, but when I was actually up there singing I was praying for the final few words so that I could take my bow and get the hell out of there.

I remember signing up to Facebook when I was in third year at university. My mates and I had decided one day during a lecture that we should join because we had heard other people talking about using it to connect with each other online. We each logged onto a library PC, created a profile and just kind of sauntered away thinking, what the hell is this even for?

I graduated university without ever really using the internet. I used my lecture notes and library books to write essays, even though Google Scholar was available I think I was sceptical that it was all legit. I didn’t want to be penalised for cheating so I just did my research and revision the old-fashioned way, by reading books, listening to the lecturers and sneaking a look at my friend Vicki’s notes.

It wasn’t until I had a mental breakdown in 2012 that I truly, no joke, had the time to actually start using social media. You can read more about my mental state here, but basically, I was off work for almost a year and after a few months I had slept and cried so much that I was pretty much bored and ready to be mentally stimulated again. I had been working in a completely non-creative role for several years and didn’t realise that what I was looking for was a form of self-expression. I really didn’t know that writing would help heal me but I’m so glad that I found it, or that it found me.

I started watching YouTube and then reading blogs, and before long someone persuaded me to start my own blog. I created Fiona Likes to Blog and started uploading articles now and again, just for fun. As the years went on I grew bored of writing about my chosen topic of health and fitness. I ran out of gusto. I realised that there was more to life than dieting and lifting weights and felt the urge to dig a little deeper when thinking about what I actually wanted to write about. I wanted to be more honest.

That’s what the internet has given me. A place to be honest.

I know that for many people it’s a place to pretend to be someone you’re not. Somewhere to showcase a perfectly lit selfie or a photoshopped bikini pic, but I spent so much time pretending in real life that the internet became my space to exhale. My space to just be.

Social media is not perfect, but neither are we. If you need to use it as a way to boost your self-confidence then who am I to stand in your way?

I use it in the same way as I did as a teenager. It’s my safety blanket, my favourite tool for communication. Not because I want to hold up a curated version of my life, but because I want to be able to accurately comment on the reality of life. The highs and the lows.

You can read more about my journey with depression and social media in my book Depression in a Digital Age which is available now on Amazon.