Fiona likes to blog, Author at Fiona Fletcher Reid

Christmas…. I’m just not that into it

by Fiona likes to blog | Dec 8, 2015 | DEPRESSION, LIFE

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?

Well I’m trying my hardest to crank up the volume of my headphones as Sia blasts from my phone into my almost burst eardrums, but unfortunately yes, I am listening to the flipping sleigh bells ring. I walk aimlessly around my local shopping centre blinded by twinkling lights, flashing Santa hats and overwhelmingly large SALE signs in every window. The scent of gingerbread lattes and overpriced perfume clings to my winter coat, reminding me that once again Christmas is imminent.

Spoiler alert; I’m not the biggest fan of this time of year. I promise I’m not about to ruin it for you by writing a lengthy blog about how it’s a waste of time and money as I shit all over your reindeer parade. I am happy that it makes other people feel warm and fuzzy enough to hang oversized socks above an open fire (I literally just realised how dangerous this is, please warn others) and I don’t want to take that away from anyone. But must I be forced to participate?

I’m well aware that there are a lot of Bah Humbug types out there squashing the dreams of small children. I’m not one of those people. I’m willing to chat about buying presents, eat a box of mince pies to myself, discuss what everyone’s plans are and what not. Most people aren’t even aware that I hate Christmas. When people ask when I’m putting my tree up I have to skirt around the issue, explaining that we binned our old one when we moved, haven’t got round to finding a new one and don’t particularly want the mess of a real one, when really all I want to say is I DON’T WANT TO PUT UP A CHRISTMAS TREE. I also don’t plan on handing out cards or singing carols round the piano. I’m not sure I can really explain why, other than the fact that joyfulness which has to be scheduled on a calendar just disnae seem right to me.

There have been of course, acceptions to the rule. Times when Christmas was “not that bad” include:

The year I got a keyboard. Aged 10. Plans to become a pop star seemed to be coming to fruition.
The year we went out to a restaurant for Christmas lunch. Didn’t have to watch poor mum stress out about burning the roast potatoes and running out of microwave space. Also, no washing up duties for anyone.
The year I stayed home alone, didn’t shower, ordered pizza, spoke to no one and watched the entire back catalogue of 30 Rock whilst quoting appropriate lines such as “There ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party because a Liz Lemon party is mandatory”. Joke, that Christmas hasn’t happened, yet.

As you can see, its not that I don’t celebrate (in the loosest sense of the word – no alcohol and in bed with hot tea by midnight thankyou very much) Christmas at all . I still buy presents for my close family, eat turkey on the 25th and acknowledge that the whole thing is happening around me, but do I really have a choice? I don’t imagine my parents would be too pleased if I rang up on Christmas Eve and ducked out of plans because I forgot I had to defrost my freezer that weekend. Sorry Mum I can’t make the dinner I really need to get my eyebrows waxed and the girl I usually get is about to go on holiday so its now or never, or at least learn to style my hair to cover the top half of my face for a fortnight. There is literally no excuse that can get you out of Christmas festivities so what’s a girl to do?

Grin and bear it I guess.

I’m not thin and that’s OK…. I think

by Fiona likes to blog | Nov 25, 2015 | BODY POSITIVITY, FITNESS, FOOD, LIFE

I’ve used this blog as a way to document my health & fitness journey. I’ve focused a lot on losing weight because this has always been my primary concern, and I just assumed that everyone else was worried about that too. I know there are some people who just don’t gain or lose weight, they just happily maintain a healthy shape, but they must be the minority right? Surely at least 80% of the population is in the same boat as me and makes every mealtime decision on the basis of their future dream body?

It seems that maybe I’ve been wrong this whole time. First of all, there are a lot of people who’s bodies I seriously envy, but they themselves feel fat and ugly. There are also a lot of women who are considered overweight and don’t give a fuck. They feel confident and look damn fine. I mean, they look proper good (and by ‘good’ I don’t mean they are actually a size 12 in real life but by comparison to runway models they appear to be ‘plus size’ or ‘curvy’). There are women out there of every shape and size who are killing it right now by being sexy, stylish and above all themselves.

If you haven’t seen any of these women you aren’t looking hard enough

Grace Victory is a British blogger and You Tuber who is brutally honest about her struggles with eating, depression and body image. She has her own style and offers a healthy perspective on mental health, relationships and working in the media.

Emma is a breath of fresh air in the blogging world. If you’re sick of looking at twentysomethings in Topshop bralets and American Apparel disco pants then walk this way. She will swither about spending £30 on a Tesco coat and swoon when she sees Hugh Jackman on the red carpet. Finally, real humans on the internet! She has won an awards for her You Tube channel thanks to her efforts in plus-size fashion, although I feel her appeal isn’t specific to plus-size ladies. She’s just your everyday woman who’s comfortable in her own skin and I find that fantastic.

Katie H Willcox started out as a plus-size model who was encouraged to gain weight to stay suitably appealing to clients, but found no happiness in an industry that forced her to be either stick thin or overweight. She now runs a successful agency called Natural Models and Healthy is the new skinny which aims to spread the message to young women that their value is not defined by how they look or how sexy they appear. Whenever I feel shit I look at the organisation’s Instagram account and I literally feed off of it’s imagery. Go look. Now.

This general message has been chipping away at my brain for the past year or so; No one else cares what you weigh, and obessing over it is a waste of your time. It’s a waste of your life.

Fiona & Joseph-77

When people say that it’s not money that makes you rich, they know their shit. I recently got married and realised how many kind and generous people I have in my life. I’m not just talking about people giving gifts (although we did receive some wonderful things) but instead other ways in which people show love.

One of our friends played piano during the ceremony, even though afterwards he told me how nervous it made him. My uncle’s baby was born literally days before the wedding but he flew up to be with us for just a few hours. Many of my husband’s family and friends travelled for a day and told lies to get out of work just to attend the wedding. A few of our guests brought professional cameras and took photographs all night so that we could have lots of images once our main photographer had gone home. Some of these things cost money, but a lot of them just took time and effort – and I am dumfounded that so many people care enough to do that for us.

I looked around the room at our wedding and thought how lucky we were to have so many wonderful people in our lives. It made me realise that I value a person based on their personality traits (obviously) not their job, salary, dress sense or how many notches they need on their belt. In that moment I certainly wasn’t looking around judging how people looked physically in their outfits of choice. So why on earth do I define myself by a different standard?

Another thing you don’t go looking for at a wedding is abs. Is it just me or is everyone obsessed with having abs these days? OK actually it might just be me. I did have a fascination with ladies with abs for quite some time. I told myself that I too could have those square, washboard muscles if I simply ate well and dedicated my life to the gym.

After researching further I realised that those Instagram pictures are of ladies who have less that 10% body fat and have purposely dehydrated themselves for the photoshoot and they will most likely lose those abs a few days later, and crave Ben & Jerry’s like mad after sticking to a low calorie diet.

Those abs are beautiful but they are not the only kind of beautiful.

I also realised that I can eat Ben & Jerry’s whenever I want because I live in Scotland and don’t ever have to bare my stomach unless on holiday. I recently went on holiday and did bare by stomach to a resort full of other British ladies who all had lovely soft midsections just like me. Maybe I can have my cake and eat it.

I’m not content with my body. I don’t look in the mirror and admire my flat stomach,perky breasts and toned legs, but I don’t think there is anyone in this world who does. I keep reminding myself what I admire in other people; beautiful skin, an infectious laugh, the confidence to not wear make up, loyalty and the ability to remember other people’s birthdays are a few things that come to mind. So here is a photo of me in a bikini to prove that although I’m not thin, that’s OK.

The truth about giving up alcohol

by Fiona likes to blog | Jan 7, 2015 | ANXIETY, DEPRESSION

I woke up with a bit of a hangover on January 1st 2014, and I can’t remember having a hangover ever since. So that’s a full year without a hangover – pretty good right? Or if you’re a party animal maybe that’s your idea of hell. Don’t get me wrong, I have had the odd drink, I remember having a few sips of champagne at a wedding in July and I had one glass of wine to celebrate getting engaged, but apart from that I’ve not had any wild nights that I can tell you about.

What I can fill you in on though, is my experience of trying to cope without drinking alcohol, and all the social, mental and physical repercussions that came with that struggle. I’m not saying that everyone’s experience will be the same, and I didn’t give up alcohol because I was an alcoholic (although I did use it as a crutch at times) so if you think you have a serious problem I suggest you talk to a health professional. If you are just curious about what it would be like to give up alcohol for another reason, then read on.

I don’t remember the day I decided to give up alcohol. I was going through some personal issues and the doctor advised that I didn’t drink whilst I tried to get better, and I avoided it for a while, but before long temptation took over and I started drowning my sorrows in red wine. The people close to me could tell it wasn’t helping but most of them let me get it out of system and I think I needed to do that to see that it wasn’t helping. So for a second time I tried to avoid it and I seemed to succeed.

The first stumbling block for me was that it can make ‘going out’ extremely awkward. You’re close friends will understand your decision, but it doesn’t always stop it from being a little strange that they are all sipping cocktails and doing shots whilst you knock back your 5th Diet Coke of the evening. Some people will try to convince you to have ‘just one’ or ‘just a couple’, but to me that was a slippery slope that I wasn’t confident venturing down, and I’m certain it would have ended in tears at the end of the night. A stronger person might be able to stop after one, but not me I’m afraid.

So anyway, by the time everyone else is drunk and dancing on the tables that’s when I would normally call a taxi and make a swift exit. That’s another thing no one tells you about not drinking – you WILL go home alone, earlier than everyone else and you WILL have to pay the entire taxi fare yourself as a result. But I guess you only spend a few pounds in soft drinks instead of £50 on buying rounds for the whole gang so it’s not too bad.

So yes, I will go out to bars and clubs when I am invited, although I only really go when its a special occasion and it would never be my choice. For example, I would go if it was a friend’s birthday and that’s what she really wanted to do. I personally would rather catch a movie or go to a restaurant. So I kind of stopped going out to bars and clubs altogether, and not because I’ve not been invited, but because when you meet new people you have to explain yourself all over again. All of my close friends know that I don’t drink and they don’t make a big deal about it thankfully.

However, some people will be so astonished at this fact that they will proceed to interrogate you in-depth about the reasons behind your decision, whilst you queue at the bar for yet another Diet Coke. I couldn’t handle this conversation for a very long time. I used to say I wasn’t drinking that night because I was working the next day, or had an early workout at the gym, or that I had no money. The thought of having this conversation with a stranger made me so anxious that I tried to avoid it at all costs.

Considering I gave up alcohol to help with my anxiety problems, you can see why having a drink had helped ease my nerves in the past. Have a drink and no one will pick you out as different, and it’ll give you more confidence to act normally in a social situation. Just deal with the hangover tomorrow. No, I couldn’t deal with that vicious cycle any longer so I avoided social situations where drink was involved.

Over the past year I have realised that it’s probably just me who has the problem, not everyone else. At the same time, if they make a big issue of you not drinking, maybe it says more about them and what they need to cope. And here’s where my next point proves very important – never act smug about not drinking alcohol. Yes, I feel great now that I don’t drink. But some people drink a glass of red wine everyday and they too feel great. Some people get smashed at the weekends because they work all week-long and that’s what gets them through.

I do wonder why so many people appear to be dependent on booze, but I also know that I was dependent too, and its so tempting and really enjoyable at times! Everyone is fighting their own battle everyday, with problems that we are unaware of, so if they like to drink then I say just let them be.

Have you given up alcohol?

Why being cool isn’t important to me

by Fiona likes to blog | Jul 7, 2014 | LIFE

You should know by now that I’m not in the business of setting trends. When I’m not wearing my ancient Adidas track suit bottoms I’m rarely in anything other than New Look leggings and a Primark t-shirt. Truth be told I’ve been wearing Birkenstocks for a few years now and I was kind of offended when people started wearing them this summer because they’re considered ‘cool’ now.

You mean they weren’t cool all this time? They are super comfortable and good for your feet! How is that not the ultimate checklist for best shoes in town?!

I’m not bothered though. I’ve come to terms with not being cool. I love reading blogs by all the trendsetters of course; their mason jars overflowing with fruit smoothies, with fresh raspberries and mint leaves scattered seemingly at random in the background, whilst each selfie showcases a stunning new outfit c/o some high-end designer featuring yet unreleased skin care ranges which they’ve had the pleasure of road testing.

I love reading those blogs, to see new things tried out by someone with bags more style than me. It gives me inspiration to be more adventurous in the kitchen, try new trends and create new posts for my own blog. But I’m under no illusion that I am one of those people.

When it comes to fashion I’ve had my fair share of disasters. I championed the ‘skouser’ in its heyday back in the 90’s with much commitment and was kind of obsessed with looking like a Spice Girl. Yeah, I wore platforms. I wore a homemade Boyzone denim jacket (not as complicated as it sounds – basically a denim jacket with the word BOYZONE emblazoned across the back) and chose a floor length maxi skirt to wear to my first year at high school along with a Shaun the Sheep backpack and T-bar high heels for good measure. Considering I was already the tallest and plumpest girl at my primary school five-inch heels were not helping me blend in with the cool crowd.

By aged 18 I was firmly in my rockstar phase, sporting a band t-shirt, lip piercing and sticky-out tongue in most photos taken between 2004-2007. Was I trying to be cool? Probably, and it wasn’t really working. I was secretly listening to Coldplay, Ashlee Simpson and Kelly Clarkson whilst wishing I could find the confidence to wear a dress and heels out at the weekend.

Years passed and I met people who were really into being ‘effortless’, ‘on trend’, and ahead of the game. No one mentioned the fact that they were trying to do these things; it was just glaringly obvious. All of a sudden I saw that it was actually OK to not be like that. A lot of the time people basically wear the uncoolest thing possible in an effort to seem like they truly don’t care. I mean, people have been wearing bumbags and crimping their hair this summer. Come on guys, we’re actually old enough to remember those trends when Clarissa wore them first time round.

So instead of doing something because it’s cool (or ‘not cool’ in an attempt at some sort of sarcastic statement) I started doing stuff because *gasp* I wanted to. High waisted jeans are in fashion; more room for my belly – score. My favourite Community character is Britta. So I’m officially ‘the worst’. I like buying clothes in Marks & Spencer because they’re not as expensive as you might think and the quality is genuinely better than most.

I don’t drink alcohol because hangovers are seriously depressing. Buying new tupperware and stationary excites me.I don’t buy branded gym gear because my mum gives me her old stuff and I can’t afford Nike. OMG. I think music festivals are a ridiculous waste of time and money and would much rather watch my Neil Young DVD at home with mismatched Matalan pyjamas on. Matalan is another highly rated clothes shop in my opinion.

Do people look at me and want to be me? Probably not. Even if they did, it would be for all the wrong reasons; my outgrown pixie crop is starting to accidentally look too Miley Cyrus for my liking and my trousers are so old they look like the worn in ones you buy off the peg from Topshop. But no one cares. They’re too busy thinking about their own style and no substance to consider anyone else. The people who really matter are dressed like shit but have hearts of gold.

The importance of being selfish

by Fiona likes to blog | Jun 23, 2014 | LIFE

I’ve been considering writing a post which is a bit more personal for a while, but I wasn’t sure what to talk about. As a health and fitness blogger I assume that everyone is vaguely interested in my food pictures and workout schedule, but who is really bothered about my personal life, or my thoughts in general?

Be that as it may, I am typing up this up even if its just some sort of therapy for myself. I wanted to talk about the importance of being selfish, and how I have slowly learned to do this in my own life over the past two or three years. I came out of university to a great management job and I worked long hours, I was a ‘people-pleaser’ and moved up in rank because I always aimed to impress the boss. I thought it was pretty easy and I often wondered why everyone didn’t see the simple equation of work hard, do what the boss wants and get rewarded. Over time this got harder, especially when the recession hit and targets became more unattainable and customers stopped spending money in my industry. I moved onto work with other companies and continued to climb from the bottom of the pile up to the top controlling multiple departments and doing three people’s jobs simultaneously. It was a wonderful step up in my career and it absolutely came from saying “Yes, I’ll do that” at every opportunity.

The problem with saying yes all the time is that after a while, it becomes almost impossible to say anything else.On one hand I became the positive leader that I had always hoped I would; I genuinely motivated my staff to work hard, be happy and get results. On the other hand I constantly juggled the wants of my overworked employees, several bosses, interfering department heads and customers, all of whom had different expectations and priorities which I had to try and meet somehow without disappointing anyone. Everyone goes through stressful times at work, but I look back now and realise that I was unable to say no to anyone. I was always taught to have a ‘can do’ attitude, in fact I think I even have it written on my CV as a skill! Without making this into a negative post, you get the gist of the situation – I was very busy, and basically spinning plates for a living.

I took some time off. I have a different job now and I am hoping to change career to work in the fitness industry. I’m sure many fitness instructors and personal trainers will be reading this shaking their heads and saying that I still need a ‘can do’ attitude to get anywhere fast. I guess my realization is that I will still get there – wherever that is – but there is no rush. I don’t need to be better than everyone else, clocking in early, working from home, picking up every extra shift or training opportunity that comes along. If I can find the time to do a little extra then I absolutely will, but not if it affects my sanity or the chance to spend time with the people that matter. The people who have helped me regain my confidence after shying away from life for a while deserve to see me at my best from now on and I’m still learning how to do that.

People will ask me to do things and if I’m not comfortable doing it I will say no. Sometimes I will explain myself, sometimes they will know me well enough to understand, and sometimes I just don’t feel I need to give a reason. I’m in a position where I need to feel calm, relaxed and in control of a situation to stay healthy and if saying no will make that happen that’s what I have to do. I’m not saying its easy, but it does come with a sense of relief and freedom which can feel very positive. I know that we have to do things that scare us to learn in life, and I still continue to do that. I did my Level 2 Gym Instructor training even though I knew it would be challenging in many different ways and I went on holiday to Cannes and put myself in stressful situations which I couldn’t have done 6 months ago. I pick and choose my battles now and at the moment I only do scary things which have the potential to have an amazing outcome.

If you’re struggling to fit in time to relax, see family or even just get a good night’s sleep then I urge you to try and be selfish sometimes. Explain this to your close friends and family, and warn them that you might have to cancel plans or don’t answer your phone after a certain time at night. Tell your workmates that you can’t help out right now but that you’ll be back on track and ready to muck in soon. No one expects you to be indestructible, and they’re all too busy with there own stuff to notice if you’re snowed under. They just assume that when you can’t do anymore you’ll say ‘too much’ and slow down. So be you’re own stop sign and be selfish.