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How to prepare for a photoshoot when you don’t feel body confident

How to prepare for a photoshoot when you don’t feel body confident

Let me start by saying I will categorically, absolutely, never in a month of Sundays, ever stop eating Terry’s Chocolate Oranges. But I think I might need to limit my intake.

Because I’ve gained some weight and I think I can track it back to a tipping point which occurred in December 2019. It was a few days after Christmas and I was just a few days shy of a January 2nd deadline for my second book, Out of Office.

It’s not a spoiler to say that I met the deadline because you probably already know that the book hit the shelves in October 2020 and became an Amazon bestseller. But how we got to this point? Well, friends, it was a bumpy road paved with processed sugar.

How we got here

I was typing furiously for days, with little time to go to the toilet never mind eat a proper meal. I had overestimated how much work was left to do on the manuscript (oops) and while my friends and family enjoyed pub drinks and visits to the Christmas market, I was holed up in my husband’s childhood bedroom scrambling to finish the first draft.

I’m not entirely sure how I came to own three Terry’s Chocolate Oranges. I know one was mine, for certain. The other two may have belonged to my husband, they could have been a gift from God. How they came to be doesn’t matter because, well, they didn’t survive very long. I scoffed all three of them in less than 24 hours.

I was in survival mode, eating my emotions to fuel my next great masterpiece. Out of Office is a book about freelance life, isn’t it? Well, cards on the table. The freelance life comes with highs and lows and this was most definitely a low point, akin to the Alan Partridge sketch where he drives to Dundee in his bare feet and eats four bars of Toblerone.

I DIGRESS.

Here we are, almost a year later and we’re approaching Terry’s favourite season. The time when Chocolate Orange items appear in homes all across the land. Hidden in cupboards, stuffed into stockings and handed out as the ultimate, fail-safe, ‘I didn’t know what to get you’ edible gift.

Why I want to look ‘myself’ in photographs

As I said, I will never give up on the mighty Chocolate Orange. But I do acknowledge that they’re not necessarily the best form of stress relief and this year has been a tad stressful don’t you think? Being stuck at home 24/7 means that for me, eating has become one of the easiest ways to make the days more exciting.

But in all honesty, I’ve been putting on weight ever since I went freelance. My previous career in catering meant that I was on my feet all day, now I get to do my dream job but it means I’m sitting down, a lot, while I do it.

So when Victoria Beddoes offered to gift me a brand photography shoot, my toes curled. I hadn’t had my picture taken professionally for years. I pretend to be happy in my skin and I very much aim for body acceptance, the truth is I don’t feel comfortable at my current size of a UK 18-20.

But in the spirit of body acceptance, I knew I wanted to go ahead with the shoot. Because I felt that updating my brand images to reflect what I look like now is an important gesture. It shows to other women out there that they can be successful without starving themselves. That they too can eat an embarrassing volume of chocolate and still get shit done while looking badass.

So how did I do it?

How did I show up to a brand photography session and fake confidence when I was feeling less than beautiful?

Firstly, I picked the right photographer. OK SHE PICKED ME. But when I scrolled through Victoria’s Instagram feed I saw that she had already photographed my friend Ruth and knew that she was going to be the perfect fit for me. All of her photographs are candid, laid-back and more importantly, make all of her subjects look like nice humans.

I didn’t meet Victoria until the day of our shoot, but we had a phone call the week before to map out what locations we wanted to hit and the general vibe we wanted to create. So you should definitely take time to find a photographer who has already shot pictures that you like, and make sure to set up a call before you commit to a booking.

Secondly, I took great care over my outfit. I read every article I could find about what clothes work well in a photoshoot and I’m glad I did because my instinct was initially to wear the brightest, snazziest dress in my wardrobe. But what I found is that basics are a pretty good option for a shoot.

A nice white t-shirt, stonewash jeans and a fitted blazer aren’t gonna turn heads at Paris fashion week but hell, they’re classic! And showing up to a shoot in a timeless outfit will make you feel comfortable, which I really think is the most important thing when it comes to confidence. I went for simple skinny jeans, a black t-shirt and a green trench coat.

Colours matter

Think about the colours that work for your skin tone. My branding is pink and yellow but if I’m honest, neither of them really do much for my colouring. But dark green? And navy blue? They’re softer than black but still muted that I didn’t feel like I was wearing too much colour. Pick simple jewellery. I went for a plain chain and twisted studs. Something to make you look ‘put together’ but that doesn’t detract from your face, the surroundings or will look dated over time.

If you can, wear some texture. This will show up nicely on camera and add a bit of depth. My t-shirt was slightly ribbed and that added a bit of weight to the top which made it look slightly more formal, but in a good way. I brought a loose-knit sweatshirt and changed into that for variety. When you compare the jumper look to the ones in my trench coat, they look like a completely different day/shoot when really it took less than a minute to make the switch.

Dare to look at the unedited pics

After the first few shots, Victoria let me see the images. This was SUCH a good move on her part because I could see from the pictures that she really knew what she was doing (I never doubted it for a second) and I didn’t look like the total monster I had imagined in my head.

Ask to see the test shots, it will more than likely put your mind at ease which will instantly boost your confidence and make you feel a bit more relaxed on camera. This in itself will mean you’ll strike better poses and create even better images in the long run. Oh, and ask your photographer to direct your poses! Victoria was great at saying things like “now hand on hip, and hand to the hair, and big smile!”

Wear your ‘normal’ make up but intensify it. For example, I wore my night time foundation which is heavier coverage than my normal BB cream. I used a lot more blusher than usual (but in a natural, peachy shade) and softly blended some brown pencil eyeliner for extra definition around the eyes.

I also added bronzer (which is totally out of character for me) but as a pale-skinned gal, I didn’t want to risk looking too washed out in the pictures. I’m certainly no make up artist but I look like ME in the final images and that, my friend, is exactly what I was going for.

Be yourself

For me, it’s been on a lifelong journey to navigate the murky world of being a woman. Society expects us to be so many things. Be delicate. Be feminine. Be small. Be quiet. It’s all so bloody exhausting that I think sometimes we have to admit that it’s best to just exhale, let the muffin top flop out and be ourselves.

Looking back at these images now I don’t see the shame I once felt about my body, shame about my double chins or shame about my penchant for fruit-shaped chocolate.

I just see me, being myself and having a damn good time.

Mental health clothing for when you want own your illness

Mental health clothing for when you want own your illness

Mental health clothing is my jam.

 

You should know by now that I’m really into talking about my mental illness. In fact, I think it’s pretty darn important that we ALL talk about it. We’ve been conditioned to stay silent on the subject for so long that we now need to shout EXTRA LOUD to make sure the world hears us when we say mental illness is real, and it needs to be taken seriously.

There are many ways you can choose to wear your mental illness on your sleeve. I suggest you wear it with pride. You’re a warrior, a strong-minded individual who is not defined by your diagnosis and if you’re comfortable, I urge you to start a conversation about mental illness.

What better way to wear it than on a fricking kick-ass t-shirt?

This black t-shirt from Keep Real is subtle and so it’s perfect if you’re not confident wearing your label just yet. The Keep Real range is full of inspiring products which quietly promote emotional well being.

The ethos of ‘keeping it real’ is something I wholly subscribe to, so I adore the idea of wearing their emblem on my chest as a reminder to be honest with myself. They aim to source ethically sound materials for their clothes as well as recyclable and biodegradable packaging.

If you haven’t heard of The Crybaby Club then head over and check out their store. I found them on Instagram last year and instantly felt part of the community, so much so that I ended up writing a guest post on their blog about being an introvert in a new city.

Since then I’ve spent hours lusting over their t-shirts, pins and apparel whilst feeling uplifted by their overarching message; It’s OK to be a crybaby.

This tough and tender t-shirt is sold out at the moment but here’s my current favourite alternative!

Heads Above The Waves is a not-for-profit organisation that raises awareness of depression and self-harm in young people. They promote positive, creative ways of dealing with the bad days.

This hoodie was inspired by Alan Watts who said “I have realised that the past and future are real illusions – that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is”.

Hoodies are essential garments for me. Although I’m all for reclaiming my mental illness with confidence, I still have those days where I want to be enveloped in comfort. This soft hoodie is exactly what I need on those days!

I’m always banging on about being an introvert, mainly because I only realised I was one less than a year ago. This Introvert Girl Gang t-shirt from Shop Luella number one on my wish list because I want everyone to know that I’m not rude, I’m just introverted!

Looking for specific tips on how to manage your self-care as an introvert? Check out this blog post where I explain why creativity is key and how it helped me get my self-care routine sorted out once and for all.

Wear Your Label have been flying the flag for mental illness for a few years now. Started by two friends who had their own mental health struggles, you can really feel that the creators understand how difficult it is to talk about mental illness.

I talk about negative body image a lot, and I’m still a work in progress when it comes to loving the skin I’m in. Just because you’re not fully ‘there’ with your self-love doesn’t meant you can’t still be an activist on the subject though.

I believe sometimes you just have to fake it til you make it. I’m continually ignoring the negative voices in my head and trying to amplify the positive thoughts, so have this t-shirt on hand for the bad days is a plan I need to put into action.

Model Felicity Hayward has been kicking arse in front of the camera for several years now by being bold, beautiful and proud of her body. She’s embodied her ethos in a range of t-shirts plastered with the “self love brings beauty” slogan and quirky illustration.

I love the image of hands creating a heart, because it really drives home the idea that you are in control of your own self-image. It shouldn’t be dictated by the way others see you, or how certain body types are portrayed in the media.

As long as you can learn to treat yourself with care, you’ll feel beauty from within.

 

Mental illness merchandise

I’m not going to lie, looking at this inspiring lot has got me more than a little bit tempted to start working on my own mental health clothing to sell online. In fact, I might just make a batch for me to wear myself! Are there any areas of mental illness that you feel are particularly marginalised and need to be put in the spotlight?

My Scottish pals will be pleased to know that there’s a new outlet for t-shirt printing in Glasgow called Printsome who have kindly sponsored this post. They offer free shipping on all orders and will print anything from 10 to 10,000 items catered to your specific needs. They also have a blimmin’ good selection of t-shirts, hoodies, bags and hats.

How will you choose to wear your mental illness? I’d love to know in the comments below!

3 body image hacks you can use to feel more positive today

3 body image hacks you can use to feel more positive today

Lying curled up in a ball, crying, wondering what the hell you’re going to wear today because nothing looks good. Practically everything you own gives you the dry heaves when you think about ‘body image’.  Jeans are too tight. Boobs are too saggy. Arms the flabbiest they’ve ever been. To top it all off you’ve just seen the latest Kim Kardashian beach snaps and she looks phenomenal, having pushed not one but two babies out of her seemingly unaware midriff which gets flatter by the minute.

This is what real women all over the world are going through on a daily basis. We hate every inch of our bodies but many of us really want to change that mentality. We want to learn to love out bodies at ‘any size’, like all the plus size models proclaim. We want to be comfortable flaunting our belly rolls like Megan Jayne Crabbe or bravely strut our stuff in fashionable gear like Felicity Hayward.

The truth is getting to that place of body image acceptance is hard. It’s incredibly hard. Telling that sobbing woman with nothing to wear just to ‘Learn to love your body!’ is so much easier said that done. It’s basically like we are having to retrain our own brains to stop seeing ourselves as unworthy because we don’t look like supermodels or celebrities. I’ve been looking for more practical ways to start building a more positive body image and I wanted to share a few simple tips that you can implement today.

Curate your wardrobe

One of the major things that makes my feel shit about my body image is my clothes. If I put something on and it’s a little too tight, or pulls in the wrong places you can guarantee that I’ll automatically start putting tearing myself apart internally with every other outfit I try on.

It’s all well and good keeping hold of clothes because you like the idea of them, or have memories of how they looked on you in the past, but let’s be honest; keeping clothes that don’t fit any more does nothing good for your mental state. It’s like keeping a picture of an ex-boyfriend up on your wall years after you’ve broken up. You’re not fooling anyone. Rip it up and move on.

Instead of trying to make old clothes work for your new body, go shopping and find a style that you’re comfortable with. I’m turning 30 this year and I’ve come to realise that being comfortable is a main priority for me. I like long-sleeved shirts. I like tops to be oversized with a deep V-neck. I like elasticated waists. My best asset is my butt and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to make the most of it.

Get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel like yourself, or is restricting you in anyway – physically or a otherwise. Throw away everything from your teenage years.

learn to be more body positive

Quality control the images to consume

We’re all so overwhelmed with images of the female body it’s inevitably going to contribute to your low self esteem if you’re feeling inadequate. I really enjoy exercise and going to the gym, so over time I’ve followed quite a few Instagram girls who have enviable bodies from working out. Instead of inspiring me to eat well and workout regularly I realised that I was trapping myself in a world of unrealistic expectations, where I never felt like my body was good enough. I was restricting my diet and exercising more and more as a form of punishment, adamant that my gruelling regime would earn me the body I thought I deserved.

The women themselves have beautiful bodies, and I’m not bashing them and what they do for a living – it’s just that their genetics are different to mine. I dieted hard and lost a lot of weight but was exhausted, lacking energy and still nowhere near revealing the washboard abs I dreamt of.

I’ve updated the media I consume by changing my Instagram, Bloglovin, Facebook and Twitter feed to surround myself with healthy messages about body image. I follow plus size models, bloggers and people who promote a more balanced approach to food and exercise.

Talk to other people who are struggling with body image

Trying to love your body the way it is can be testing when magazine headlines still promote crash dieting and taking fat burners for breakfast. We’re all trying to fly the flag for body positivity and although online it can seem like everyone else is on board too, in the real world not many people are talking about themselves in a loving way. Everyone is ‘starting afresh’ on Monday, or calling today a ‘write off’ after an 11am doughnut delivery to the office.

How do we surround ourselves with other strong men and women who believe they are worthy of happiness no matter what their size? I think  we can help instigate that change by being verbal about what we believe to everyone we meet.

Sometimes talking to others who are struggling with the same body image issues can highlight how distorted our own views are of ourselves. Listening to friends point out their jiggly bits, wrinkles and grey hairs always takes me by surprise; What are they talking about? I can’t see any of their apparent flaws, in fact I envy their figure and their fabulous dress sense!

This happens all the time, and although I’m sympathetic to the mental turmoil they’re going through (I totally geddit), I always make sure they know why I think they’re beautiful the way they are. The way I see it, if I can get as many people as possible into this new way of thinking, they’ll help support me when I’m feeling low and vice versa. If you can create a community of people who will lift you up then you’re onto a winner.

Are you working towards a more positive body image?