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Creative self-care ideas for introverts with depression

Creative self-care ideas for introverts with depression

Introverts, this one’s for you.

I’m sitting at my desk, home alone, with only the light of my laptop to light the room. Rain eerily taps against the open window and I suddenly realise that I’ve not spoken to anyone in about 12 hours. This might sound like the start of a horror film but for an introvert like me, this is heaven. Sweet, lonely heaven.

I love my husband, family, friends, work colleagues and all the people I’ve met online since I started writing about mental illness but by gosh, do I need my alone time. I mean real alone time, on the regular.

After several years of recoiling from every human interaction, I’ve become quite skilled at the art of pretending to be a ‘people person’. I’ve mastered making polite conversation with strangers, and realised that whilst said stranger talks I should think constantly about what to say next.

Filling in the gaps is essential to avoiding awkward silences and the dreaded ‘weather’ chat. If I have to pull out the weather card then I’ll always punctuate it with a convenient exit to the bathroom to buy me a few minutes of solitude before the next surge of energy is required and more small talk is thrown required.

Inevitably I’ll use the bathroom break excuse one too many times and realise that it’s probably time to exit the vicinity, instead of hiding in the en suite quietly watching You Tube videos or going through the receipts in my purse.

The point is, when you hit your limit as an introvert you just hit it. That’s it. With the pain and immediacy of a gunshot wound it needs urgent medical attention, otherwise the situation will be critical. For many introverts, a creative self-care routine is essential. Here are some ideas…

Baking

I’m no Mary Berry that’s for sure. Baking is an exact science, and as someone who’s prone to tossing in more than one haphazard substitutions I normally give it a miss. Spending hours mixing dry ingredients separately to wet ingredients only to combine them and forget to add something important- like eggs or sugar- is my idea of hell.

It’s a creative outlet for sure, but one which often leaves me feeling more deflated and useless than when I started. Luckily I’ve found the perfect solution which requires no skills whatsoever. Superfood Bakery offer pre-packaged mixes which are all natural, gluten-free and filled with superfoods.

introvert creative self-care

Most recipes require the addition of an egg (I think I can manage to remember that ONE egg, although I’m not making any promises) or a vegan substitute such as one ripe banana. I tried out the Spirit Lifters Cookies last weekend and was pleasantly surprised that I managed to create 18 perfectly formed cookies with little to no effort!

No electric mixer needed and no last minute dash to pick up weird and wonderful ingredients. The best part was the feeling of accomplishment that came from honestly about 10 minutes work. The ultimate lazy girl activity. I got extra creative and made some vegan ice cream sandwiches with some Alpro dairy free vanilla ice cream too.

introvert self-care creative

Scrap-booking

I’m not talking anything elaborate (although maybe you’re more committed to the cause than me) but scrapbooking some of your favourite photographs can be a nice way to remind yourself of happy memories. Practising gratitude is something a lot people advise for introverts with depression, and I find looking through old photos is a nice little nudge in the right direction. It reminds me of how much fun I have with my friends and family and often spurs me on to phone my mum, message a friend or set up a meet up in the future.

Upcycling

Being creative for the sake of creativity is something I’m a huge believer in. You don’t need to paint solely with the aim of creating a picture which will hang on your wall or be sold to a buyer. Paint because you love the feeling of mixing colours, brushing it onto canvas and making something out of nothing.

Upcycling is a way to get creative in a way which just happens to have a functional end result, assuming that you’re any good at it. I know someone who is a dab hand at upholstering chairs, repainting old furniture and even making new things such as wall-mounted shelves out of cabinet drawers. The best I’ve done is to rescue a wooden crate and paint it a nice mint green shade. It’s nothing exciting but I use it to house my recycled bottles and cardboard, and acts as a friendly reminder that I did something productive that day!

When you feel ready – possibly weeks later, no judgement here – you can revisit the list and group them into actions, feelings and worries. Now it’s time to create an action plan. Think logically about how to problem solve the negative feelings, kind of like a very informal CBT session. Prioritise the quick, easy jobs first and then schedule days and times for the rest. My tip would be to overestimate how long each task will take you, and try and tackle at least one job per day.

I’ve gone face-first into into the irresistible cream-cake that is stationery addiction and amassed quite a collection of Kikki.K notebooks. I’m strangely proud of this stockpile and find myself gravitating towards my notebooks when I need a little me time. I’ve even found myself muttering ‘I need my notebooks’ when I’m stressed, in a slightly strange manner.

Dance classes

I’m no Beyonce but when it comes to busting out a few moves at a Zumba class I like to think I’m just as good as anyone else in the room. I’ve genuinely seen some of the most uncoordinated introverts look blissfully at home in amateur dance classes. It’s such a joy to watch. Some of us just NEED a physical release. Dancing is one of those things that you can do around the house or out at the weekend, but in a class you get that wonderful group atmosphere and the camaraderie of people failing and succeeding at different speeds as the teacher set the routine for the group.

Blogging

Although I consider blogging a part-time job it’s also a creative outlet for me. I used to think maybe blogging was a terrible pastime for an awkward little introvert like me. I was certain that I had to override my urge to be alone, but now I realise it’s just the way my brain works. I knew I had anxiety so I tried to force myself to fill up my time with social activities, hoping I could somehow change my personality through force. Now I’ve realised I actually need that alone time to keep me on an even keel the rest of the time.

introvert self care

Blogging is great because you can literally write about whatever you want and publish it instantly There are loads of very niche specific sites out there, so you’ll definitely find other people who are interested in what you have to say! I’ve found blogging is a form of therapy for me, a way to express my feelings and also talk to people online who have similar problems. There is a huge online community of mental health bloggers and I now totally feel part of something, even though it’s something I do alone from my laptop.

Still wondering if blogging is for introverts? Find out more here.

Photography

Think you’re not a good enough photographer to take it up as a hobby? That’s bullshit! Self-care activities from introverts aren’t about being the best at something, or even remotely good for that matter. Trust me, I’m a truly awful photographer! It’s about finding time for yourself and nurturing your creative side with all it’s flaws.

I use my iPhone and find it does just fine for taking basic snaps for Instagram and on the blog. There are loads of good guides out there which help you utilise the camera feature on your iPhone and some very helpful apps which can help you edit too.

Organisation

In the same vein as stationery, organising is one of those hobbies that not everyone will understand. I got you girl, don’t worry. I’m in awe of those who can take the time to painstakingly file every book they own in alphabetical order. I long to have a wardrobe which is arranged by colour, displaying a majestic fabric rainbow every morning when I select my outfit for the day.

The truth is, organising your belongings can give you a great sense of pleasure but it doesn’t have to be on a grand scale. Your whole life does not have to be organised, but if your underwear drawer is neat and tidy then you can feel secretly smug as the rest of your life falls apart. When I have a bad relapse of depression I often shun the daily chores in favour of small tasks which really don’t need tackled, but make me feel better anyway.

self-care introverts

You might want to audit your kitchen cupboards and throw out any out of date food, clean the insides and rearrange everything to make things easier to find. You can make a list of everything in your fridge and freezer then create a meal plan for the week in order to use up all the random things you have in there. Matching up odd socks is always a fun task. Joke – that is literally an impossible task which should not be attempted under any circumstances.

Visit musuems

I studied art at school and although I never really immersed myself in the work of others. I’ve always been interested in visiting art galleries. A lot of them are free to visit and have a kick-ass gift shop where you can stock up on comedically huge erasers and crystal jewellery until you heart’s content. That aside, walking around in the eerie silence of an old building filled with historical paintings which have existed for hundreds of years is something that speaks to me deeply.

I’m not great at meditation, but this is a form of mindfulness that I can get on board with. My phone is turned off in my bag, there are minimal distractions and I get to tap into that creative part of my brain for an hour or so in relative peacefulness. End this outing with tea and cake in the cafe (what introvert dreams are made of) and you can consider yourself mentally invigorated and ready to take on the world.

Introverts, you got this

Self-care is not a substitute for medical help, but it’s a key addition to recovery from depression and working towards preventing a relapse. I’ve found being creative and learning to express my feelings is a big part of my self-care routine, and this might look different for every person. Finding a few activities that work for you is a great way to have a back-up plan for when you feel low, or crave alone time after a lot of social activity. Just remember, find something you enjoy and don’t be afraid to fail. It’s all about having fun and getting some creative satisfaction. For more info download my free eBook!

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Podcasting

As a creative introvert with anxiety, I’m forever adding projects to my list of jobs I’d love to do. It’s kind of overwhelming sometimes, but there’s just so much I want to try. Starting a podcast is something that I’ve toyed with for almost a year, but ultimately I don’t think I’ve got the time, technical abilities or the commitment to tackle this one just yet. Watch this space.

I’ve started a You Tube channel and it’s let me talk about mental illness in a new way which doesn’t involve blogging. But back to podcasting. When you’re feeling burnt out, tired, and in need of that recharge time which us introverts thrive on, you might want to consider listening to a podcast. For me it bridges that gap when you want alone time but with a little background noise. A friendly voice can do a lot to make you feel like you’ve been sociable when really you’ve sat at home all day scrolling through Pinterest and convincing yourself you don’t need to shower.

Is listening to podcasts creative though? I find that listening to entrepreneurial talks are really inspiring, and get me thinking about how I can create better content, focus my mind or look at new income streams for my business. Sometimes it will give me new ideas but it might also just confirm that I’m already on the right path, which is a welcome feeling for someone constantly worries they’re a complete failure. I also listen to a lot of true crime podcasts. It might sound weird (I know there are other Murderinos out there, hey, I see you) but I get enthralled in the details about serial killers, religious cults and crimes of passion. I also listen to feminist podcasts, ones about blogging, social media and little Desert Island Discs too. Whatever floats that boat of yours.

Stationery

I know I’m not the only girl introvert who considers buying and using stationery an activity in itself. Concerned? Don’t be. I’ve been using stationery as a form of creative therapy for the past few months and it’s a game-changer. Get your highlighters at the ready gang.

I’ve found most negative feelings can be soothed with a tool known as a Brain Dumping. All you need to do is grab a scrap of paper (I’ll choose my £15 embossed, hardback dream journal but whatevz, no big deal) and dump all of your thoughts down on one page. The beauty of a Brain Dump is that you don’t need to do anything this these thoughts. Just leave ’em. The simple act of dumping them on the page is therapeutic enough that you’ll feel lighter, calmer and more relaxed by getting them off your mental to-do list and recorded on paper.

introvert self-care creative

 

How to survive Christmas day as an introvert

How to survive Christmas day as an introvert

Christmas Day can be pretty intense. Even for the most outgoing person, the idea of being cooped up with your nearest and dearest for 12 hours straight with nothing but food, alcohol and polite conversation to pass the time can be a little daunting. For someone like me – a textbook introvert – the frivolities of the big day are my worst nightmare. I’m not hugely looking forward to it, but I do have a few techniques up my sleeve to help the day go as smoothly as possible….

Get enough sleep

It’s tempting to go out on Christmas Eve and have a few too many drinks to ease your nerves about the following day, but make sure you still get a good night’s sleep after you socialise. I find my temper is shorter when I’m tired and I have no patience with anyone. It also makes me gravitate towards the Quality Street to keep my energy up, which then makes my anxiety worse as I ride the unpredictable sugar-high whilst trying to remain calm in front of relatives. I’ve heard people say that you often wake up in the frame of mind you had when you went to bed, so try and have a relaxing evening to keep yourself level-headed.

Keep busy

Although I’m a firm believer in keeping my calendar as clear as possible, I also find I’m happier when I’m distracted with day-to-day jobs. OK not always happier, but I’m definitely less anxious and that’s the path to happiness in my world. This doesn’t mean socialising for hours on end but simply keeping my mind and body occupied with enjoyable tasks. For me these include blogging, reading, cooking and exercising. Offer to help chop the vegetables, set the table, clear away used wrapping paper and keep everyone’s drink topped up as a way to keep busy.

Get outside

With that in mind, you may want to take your exercise to the outdoors. Getting some fresh air whilst the turkey is cooking is a nice way to relax before sitting down to a formal meal where the conversation can get heated. Offer to take the dog a walk, or get the kids away from the TV for an hour and you’ll find yourself refreshed with a clearer head, ready to enjoy the rest of the day.

Plan time with people who understand

We all have those friends you just get us. They let us be ourselves and there are no awkward silences when we’re together. They let us vent endlessly about our problems and often have the answers to them too. These are the people that should be by your side on Christmas Day. If you can, try and plan to see them in the evening once the festivities have died down, or at least keep in touch via text message or Face Time. Even if you’re feeling terrible, they’ll listen to what you have to say and help ease the burden of a busy day.

Are you ready for Christmas Day?

 

When you think I’m being rude, here’s what’s really going on 

When you think I’m being rude, here’s what’s really going on 

I’ve just returned from a busy weekend in Scotland. It was our first visit back home since we moved to Birmingham and I was really excited to see my friends and family for the first time in 4 months. Unfortunately for an introvert like me, being constantly on the go for 72 hours turned out to be kind of a drag. I knew my time was limited with everyone, but after the first day my mind was so exhausted that I could barely hold a conversation or stay awake.

Combine my solitary nature with mental health issues and you’ve got someone who appears to be extremely moody and rude for a lot of the time. I’ve said I’m sorry again and again. I feel like it’s out of my control. When I feel a low mood creeping in, it climbs onto my back and digs its claws in. It doesn’t let go and then I feel anxious about how I appear to other people.

grateful for 2017 mental health blogger UK fiona thomas

I know there are people who can’t understand this at all. But I also know there are people out there who know exactly how it feels. Here’s what’s going on in my head most of the time:

I don’t have the strength to talk

Holding a conversations when I’m drained, depressed and on edge with anxiety is near impossible. I’m caught in that horrible contradiction of being fatigued but my body is often producing a lot of nervous energy. Sometimes making small talk is just too hard.

 

I have nothing nice to say

When my depression sets in I feel like the world is a bad place. I suddenly think I can see everyone for who they really are; they’re all pretending to be happy, nothing is worth the effort and we should all just give up immediately. If I’m in this frame of mind and you ask me what shade of lipstick looks best then I won’t have anything helpful to add to the discussion so I try to just keep my mouth shut.

I’m concentrating on not freaking out

It might look like I’m just grumpy and quiet but secretly I’m scanning the room for potential anxiety inducing situations. Where are the toilets? Are those drunk people going to talk to us? How are we going to split the bill and do I have enough money? Are you going to ask me something I can’t answer? Am I going to look stupid?

 

I feel like I’m not enough

If this scenario continues on for more than a few hours and I feel like it’s obvious to other people then I tend to feel like a bit of a failure. Why can’t I just fake being polite for one day? Why can’t I think of one single thing to talk about? Why do my friends and family even want me around? I don’t deserve them. I’m such a waste of space.

I’m feeling guilty

When I start to feel like I’m cramping everyone’s style I am plagued with guilt. I feel like I’ve ruined the day, wasted everyone’s time and been a crappy friend/daughter/sister. Even when people tell me it’s not my fault I find a way to convince myself that I should be able to control my moods better or get better at pretending to be OK.

If I come across as rude to you, I’m so sorry. I’m working on it.

 

Christmas…. I’m just not that into it

Christmas…. I’m just not that into it

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?

Well I’m trying my hardest to crank up the volume of my headphones as Sia blasts from my phone into my almost burst eardrums, but unfortunately yes, I am listening to the flipping sleigh bells ring. I walk aimlessly around my local shopping centre blinded by twinkling lights, flashing Santa hats and overwhelmingly large SALE signs in every window. The scent of gingerbread lattes and overpriced perfume clings to my winter coat, reminding me that once again Christmas is imminent.

Spoiler alert; I’m not the biggest fan of this time of year. I promise I’m not about to ruin it for you by writing a lengthy blog about how it’s a waste of time and money as I shit all over your reindeer parade. I am happy that it makes other people feel warm and fuzzy enough to hang oversized socks above an open fire (I literally just realised how dangerous this is, please warn others) and I don’t want to take that away from anyone. But must I be forced to participate?

I’m well aware that there are a lot of Bah Humbug types out there squashing the dreams of small children. I’m not one of those people. I’m willing to chat about buying presents, eat a box of mince pies to myself, discuss what everyone’s plans are and what not. Most people aren’t even aware that I hate Christmas. When people ask when I’m putting my tree up I have to skirt around the issue, explaining that we binned our old one when we moved, haven’t got round to finding a new one and don’t particularly want the mess of a real one, when really all I want to say is I DON’T WANT TO PUT UP A CHRISTMAS TREE. I also don’t plan on handing out cards or singing carols round the piano. I’m not sure I can really explain why, other than the fact that joyfulness which has to be scheduled on a calendar just disnae seem right to me.

There have been of course, acceptions to the rule. Times when Christmas was “not that bad” include:

  1. The year I got a keyboard. Aged 10. Plans to become a pop star seemed to be coming to fruition.
  2. The year we went out to a restaurant for Christmas lunch. Didn’t have to watch poor mum stress out about burning the roast potatoes and running out of microwave space. Also, no washing up duties for anyone.
  3. The year I stayed home alone, didn’t shower, ordered pizza, spoke to no one and watched the entire back catalogue of 30 Rock whilst quoting appropriate lines such as “There ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party because a Liz Lemon party is mandatory”. Joke, that Christmas hasn’t happened, yet.

Grumpy xmas

As you can see, its not that I don’t celebrate (in the loosest sense of the word – no alcohol and in bed with hot tea by midnight thankyou very much) Christmas at all . I still buy presents for my close family, eat turkey on the 25th and acknowledge that the whole thing is happening around me, but do I really have a choice? I don’t imagine my parents would be too pleased if I rang up on Christmas Eve and ducked out of plans because I forgot I had to defrost my freezer that weekend. Sorry Mum I can’t make the dinner I really need to get my eyebrows waxed and the girl I usually get is about to go on holiday so its now or never, or at least learn to style my hair to cover the top half of my face for a fortnight. There is literally no excuse that can get you out of Christmas festivities so what’s a girl to do?

Grin and bear it I guess.