If you consider this post TMI then that’s exactly why you need to read it. Periods are a natural bodily function for half of the world’s population so they deserve to be spoken about. Read on for an honest snapshot of my monthly flow!
1. I don’t use tampons. I’m nearly 30 and I had my first period aged 10, so I’ve had ample time to try out the blasted things but goddamnit they’re just not for me. I can barely get them in, I can’t get them to stay there and I just don’t like them. Maxi pads for life.
2. I can’t wear light coloured tshirts in fear of – you know – splashbacks. Same goes for pale underwear, jeans and bath towels. I also can’t comfortably go to the toilet, if you know what I mean.
3. I eat my feelings. This month has been sponsored by Dairy Milk Oreo, Five Guys fries and a milkshake (weirdly no burger though), flapjacks and Heinz Tomato Soup.
4. I fly off the handle. I bought web hosting and instead of paying for it monthly I paid for 3 years worth in one go, resulting in me being almost £300 out of pocket. Of course, it was entirely my fault but this didn’t stop me blaming the rest of the world and sobbing uncontrollably for 20 minutes.
5. I wear what is essentially a training bra for 2 weeks, due to sore boobs. I know all you females have been there. Under no circumstances should my breasts be touched, tapped, rubbed or squeezed intentionally or indeed in error or I WILL explode with rage. The tender little ladies need as little disruption as possible just before and during the period; so a wireless, seamless stretchy bra is the only option during this time.
What’s your period like? Have you got any tips to share?